Two and a Half Men Episode Guide

Episode 7.11 : Warning, It's Dirty
Episode Premiere : December 14, 2009

Episode 7.10 : That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Episode Premiere : December 07, 2009

Episode 7.09 : Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Episode Premiere : November 23, 2009

Episode 7.08 : Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Episode Premiere : November 16, 2009

Episode 7.07 : Untainted by Filth
Episode Premiere : November 09, 2009

Episode 7.06 : Give Me Your Thumb
Episode Premiere : November 02, 2009

Episode 7.05 : For the Sake of the Child
Episode Premiere : October 19, 2009

Episode 7.04 : Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Episode Premiere : October 12, 2009

Episode 7.03 : Mmm, fish. Yum.
Episode Premiere : October 05, 2009

Episode 7.02 : Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Episode Premiere : September 28, 2009

Episode 7.01 : 818-jklpuzo
Episode Premiere : September 21, 2009

Episode 6.24 : Baseball with Better Steroids
Episode Premiere : May 18, 2009

Episode 6.23 : Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Episode Premiere : May 11, 2009

Episode 6.22 : Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Episode Premiere : May 04, 2009

Episode 6.21 : Above Exalted Cyclops
Episode Premiere : April 27, 2009

Episode 6.20 : Hello, I am Alan Cousteau
Episode Premiere : April 13, 2009

Episode 6.19 : The Two Finger Rule
Episode Premiere : March 30, 2009

Episode 6.18 : My Son's Enormous Head
Episode Premiere : March 16, 2009

Episode 6.17 : The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Episode Premiere : March 09, 2009

Episode 6.16 : She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Episode Premiere : March 02, 2009

Episode 6.15 : I'd Like to Start with the Cat
Episode Premiere : February 09, 2009

Episode 6.14 : David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Episode Premiere : February 02, 2009

Episode 6.13 : I Think You Offended Don
Episode Premiere : January 19, 2009

Episode 6.12 : Thank God for Scoliosis
Episode Premiere : January 12, 2009

Episode 6.11 : The Devil's Lube
Episode Premiere : December 15, 2008

Episode 6.10 : He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Episode Premiere : December 08, 2008

Episode 6.09 : A Mooch at the Boo
Episode Premiere : November 24, 2008

Episode 6.08 : Pinocchio's Mouth
Episode Premiere : November 17, 2008

Episode 6.07 : Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Episode Premiere : November 10, 2008

Episode 6.06 : It's Always Nazi Week
Episode Premiere : November 03, 2008

Episode 6.05 : A Jock Strap in Hell
Episode Premiere : October 20, 2008

Episode 6.04 : The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Episode Premiere : October 13, 2008

Episode 6.03 : Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Episode Premiere : October 06, 2008

Episode 6.02 : Pie Hole, Herb
Episode Premiere : September 29, 2008

Episode 6.01 : Taterhead Is Our Love Child
Episode Premiere : September 22, 2008

Episode 5.19 : Waiting for the Right Snapper
Episode Premiere : May 19, 2008

Episode 5.18 : If My Hole Could Talk
Episode Premiere : May 12, 2008

Episode 5.17 : Fish in a Drawer
Episode Premiere : May 05, 2008

Episode 5.16 : Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Episode Premiere : April 28, 2008

Episode 5.15 : Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle)
Episode Premiere : April 21, 2008

Episode 5.14 : Winky-Dink Time
Episode Premiere : April 14, 2008

Episode 5.13 : The Soil is Moist
Episode Premiere : March 31, 2008

Episode 5.12 : A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Episode Premiere : March 24, 2008

Episode 5.11 : Meander to Your Dander
Episode Premiere : March 17, 2008

Episode 5.10 : Kinda Like Necrophilia
Episode Premiere : November 26, 2007

Episode 5.09 : Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids
Episode Premiere : November 19, 2007

Episode 5.08 : Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Episode Premiere : November 12, 2007

Episode 5.07 : The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
Episode Premiere : November 05, 2007

Episode 5.06 : Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Episode Premiere : October 29, 2007

Episode 5.05 : Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Episode Premiere : October 22, 2007

Episode 5.04 : City of Great Racks
Episode Premiere : October 15, 2007

Episode 5.03 : Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Episode Premiere : October 08, 2007

Episode 5.02 : Media Room Slash Dungeon
Episode Premiere : October 01, 2007

Episode 5.01 : Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Episode Premiere : September 24, 2007

Episode 4.24 : Prostitutes and Gelato
Episode Premiere : May 14, 2007

Episode 4.23 : Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Episode Premiere : May 07, 2007

Episode 4.22 : Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Episode Premiere : April 30, 2007

Episode 4.21 : Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Episode Premiere : April 23, 2007

Episode 4.20 : Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Episode Premiere : April 16, 2007

Episode 4.19 : Smooth as a Ken Doll
Episode Premiere : April 09, 2007

Episode 4.18 : It Never Rains in Hooterville
Episode Premiere : March 19, 2007

Episode 4.17 : I Merely Slept With a Commie
Episode Premiere : February 26, 2007

Episode 4.16 : Young People Have Phlegm Too
Episode Premiere : February 19, 2007

Episode 4.15 : My Damn Stalker
Episode Premiere : February 12, 2007

Episode 4.14 : That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Episode Premiere : February 05, 2007

Episode 4.13 : Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Episode Premiere : January 22, 2007

Episode 4.12 : Castrating Sheep in Montana
Episode Premiere : January 08, 2007

Episode 4.11 : Walnuts and Demerol
Episode Premiere : December 11, 2006

Episode 4.10 : Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Episode Premiere : November 27, 2006

Episode 4.09 : Corey's Been Dead For an Hour
Episode Premiere : November 20, 2006

Episode 4.08 : Release the Dogs
Episode Premiere : November 13, 2006

Episode 4.07 : Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Episode Premiere : November 06, 2006

Episode 4.06 : Apologies for the Frivolity
Episode Premiere : October 23, 2006

Episode 4.05 : A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Episode Premiere : October 16, 2006

Episode 4.04 : A Pot Smoking Monkey
Episode Premiere : October 09, 2006

Episode 4.03 : The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
Episode Premiere : October 02, 2006

Episode 4.02 : Who's Vod Kanockers?
Episode Premiere : September 25, 2006

Episode 4.01 : Working for Caligula
Episode Premiere : September 18, 2006

Episode 3.24 : That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Episode Premiere : May 22, 2006

Episode 3.23 : Arguments for the Quickie
Episode Premiere : May 15, 2006

Episode 3.22 : Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Episode Premiere : May 08, 2006

Episode 3.21 : And the Plot Moistens
Episode Premiere : May 01, 2006

Episode 3.20 : Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Episode Premiere : April 24, 2006

Episode 3.19 : Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
Episode Premiere : April 10, 2006

Episode 3.18 : The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Episode Premiere : March 20, 2006

Episode 3.17 : The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Episode Premiere : March 13, 2006

Episode 3.16 : Ergo, The Booty Call
Episode Premiere : March 06, 2006

Episode 3.15 : My Tongue is Meat
Episode Premiere : February 27, 2006

Episode 3.14 : Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Episode Premiere : February 06, 2006

Episode 3.13 : Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Episode Premiere : January 23, 2006

Episode 3.12 : That Special Tug
Episode Premiere : January 09, 2006

Episode 3.11 : Santa's Village of the Damned
Episode Premiere : December 19, 2005

Episode 3.10 : Something Salted and Twisted
Episode Premiere : November 28, 2005

Episode 3.09 : Madame and Her Special Friend
Episode Premiere : November 21, 2005

Episode 3.08 : That Voodoo That I Do Do
Episode Premiere : November 14, 2005

Episode 3.07 : Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Episode Premiere : November 07, 2005

Episode 3.06 : Hi, Mr. Horned One
Episode Premiere : October 24, 2005

Episode 3.05 : We Called It Mr. Pinky
Episode Premiere : October 17, 2005

Episode 3.04 : Your Dismissive Attitude Toward Boobs
Episode Premiere : October 10, 2005

Episode 3.03 : Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Episode Premiere : October 03, 2005

Episode 3.02 : Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Episode Premiere : September 26, 2005

Episode 3.01 : Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Episode Premiere : September 19, 2005

Episode 2.24 : Does This Smell Funny to You?
Episode Premiere : May 23, 2005

Episode 2.23 : Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Episode Premiere : May 16, 2005

Episode 2.22 : That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Episode Premiere : May 09, 2005

Episode 2.21 : A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Episode Premiere : May 02, 2005

Episode 2.20 : I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Episode Premiere : April 18, 2005

Episode 2.19 : A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Episode Premiere : March 21, 2005

Episode 2.18 : It Was Mame, Mom
Episode Premiere : March 07, 2005

Episode 2.17 : Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
Episode Premiere : February 21, 2005

Episode 2.16 : Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Episode Premiere : February 14, 2005

Episode 2.15 : Smell the Umbrella Stand
Episode Premiere : February 07, 2005

Episode 2.14 : Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Episode Premiere : January 31, 2005

Episode 2.13 : Zejdz z Moich Wlosów [a.k.a. Get Off My Hair]
Episode Premiere : January 17, 2005

Episode 2.12 : A Lungful of Alan
Episode Premiere : January 03, 2005

Episode 2.11 : Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Episode Premiere : December 13, 2004

Episode 2.10 : The Salmon Under My Sweater
Episode Premiere : November 29, 2004

Episode 2.09 : Yes, Monsignor
Episode Premiere : November 22, 2004

Episode 2.08 : Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Episode Premiere : November 15, 2004

Episode 2.07 : A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Episode Premiere : November 08, 2004

Episode 2.06 : The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Episode Premiere : October 25, 2004

Episode 2.05 : Bad News from the Clinic
Episode Premiere : October 18, 2004

Episode 2.04 : Go Get Mommy's Bra
Episode Premiere : October 11, 2004

Episode 2.03 : A Bag Full of Jawea
Episode Premiere : October 04, 2004

Episode 2.02 : Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Episode Premiere : September 27, 2004

Episode 2.01 : Back Off Mary Poppins
Episode Premiere : September 20, 2004

Episode 1.24 : Can You Feel My Finger?
Episode Premiere : May 24, 2004

Episode 1.23 : Just Like Buffalo
Episode Premiere : May 17, 2004

Episode 1.22 : My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
Episode Premiere : May 10, 2004

Episode 1.21 : No Sniffing, No Wowing
Episode Premiere : May 03, 2004

Episode 1.20 : Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Episode Premiere : April 19, 2004

Episode 1.19 : I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Episode Premiere : March 22, 2004

Episode 1.18 : An Old Flame With a New Wick
Episode Premiere : March 01, 2004

Episode 1.17 : Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
Episode Premiere : February 23, 2004

Episode 1.16 : That Was Saliva, Alan
Episode Premiere : February 16, 2004

Episode 1.15 : Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Episode Premiere : February 09, 2004

Episode 1.14 : I Can't Afford Hyenas
Episode Premiere : February 02, 2004

Episode 1.13 : Sara Like Puny Alan
Episode Premiere : January 12, 2004

Episode 1.12 : Camel Filters + Pheromones
Episode Premiere : January 05, 2004

Episode 1.11 : Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Episode Premiere : December 15, 2003

Episode 1.10 : Merry Thanksgiving
Episode Premiere : November 24, 2003

Episode 1.09 : Phase One, Complete
Episode Premiere : November 17, 2003

Episode 1.08 : Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Episode Premiere : November 10, 2003

Episode 1.07 : If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Episode Premiere : November 03, 2003

Episode 1.06 : Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Episode Premiere : October 27, 2003

Episode 1.05 : The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Episode Premiere : October 20, 2003

Episode 1.04 : If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
Episode Premiere : October 13, 2003

Episode 1.03 : Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Episode Premiere : October 06, 2003

Episode 1.02 : Big Flappy Bastards
Episode Premiere : September 29, 2003

Episode 1.01 : Pilot
Episode Premiere : September 22, 2003