January 29, 2013 17:02:10 GMT
Michael Houston regrets introducing drugs to his sister, saying his guilt over her death is something he got to live for the rest of his life.
Whitney Houston's brother Michael blames no one but himself for her death. In an interview on "Oprah's Next Chapter", he says he feels responsible for introducing his singer sister to drugs and regrets not taking action to save her while he still could.
With his mother Cissy by his side, he admits to Oprah Winfrey that he introduced Whitney to cocaine in the 1980s before she met Bobby Brown and married him. "I feel responsible for her. I always have," he says. "I just felt like I should have taken better care of her."
"It's painful," he utters. "I feel responsible for, that I let it go so far. Being together most of the time, and her following behind me everything that you do together as you're growing up, and then when you get into drugs, you do that together too. And it just got out of hand."
When first giving the drugs to Whitney, Michael didn't realize it could lead to death. "You gotta understand at the time the 80s it was acceptable," he says. "It wasn't a bad word like it is now," to which Oprah replied, "Because we didn't have the bodies in the street."
When the host asks him, "So that's the demon you live with?" Michael who's a songwriter answers in full remorse, "Every day. Every day. It's something I got live with the rest of my life." He says he could never forgive himself as stating, "I'm living but I'm not alive."
Cissy remembers how she learned that Whitney nicknamed Nippy by the family had died on February 11, 2012. "My son called me and he was screaming, 'Mom, Mommy. Then, oh God. I said, 'What is wrong, whats wrong?' " the mother recalls.
"He just said, 'Nippy. Nippy.' I said, 'What's wrong with Nippy?' I was getting annoyed because he wasn't telling me anything. He said, 'Mommy.' I said, 'Is she dead?' And he said, 'Yeah, Mommy, she's dead.' And I don't remember too much else after that."
In her new book titled "Remembering Whitney: My Story of Love, Loss, and the Night the Music Stopped", Cissy slammed Bobby Brown for being a bad influence for her daughter. "It would have been easier for her to get sober and stay sober," she wrote. "Instead she was with someone who, like her, wanted to party."
Cissy didn't blame him for Whitney's death though. "Good mothers and good fathers and good families don't always have great children," she said on "Today" show. "It's all [the children's] responsibility when they get to a certain age to choose their way." She added, "She was taught. She knew her way."
"I know he [Brown] didn't help her. I don't blame him," the Houston matriarch went on. "Everybody is responsible for their own actions up to a point. She was raised, she knew better, and whatever took her to that position, I really don't know."