Dr. Cox has to pick a new Chief of Surgery and Turk wants the job. J.D. is uncomfortable when he finds out Elliot's ex, Sean (guest star Scott Foley), is dating Kim.
J.D. discovers that Elliot is the one who introduced Sean to Kim. He punishes her by wearing the foul-smelling cologne she hates. Elliot invites Sean and Kim to the hospital to get past all the awkwardness. The ladies bond by telling each other they often dream that the other is dead. They also compare notes on how the boys are in bed. Apparently, J.D. takes the "play" in "foreplay" literally. Both ladies are fond of his "Mr. Peeps Tries on Hats" game. We don't know that one. Do you?
J.D. tries to convince Sean they have a bond because they've had sex with the same women. They're "wiener cousins," and that's stronger than family. But the bond is broken as Sam cries whenever J.D. comes near him. The only thing that calms him down is being held by Sean. Sorry, Cuz.
J.D. realizes that his son doesn't really hate him. It's that nasty cologne that's causing him to fuss. After quick shower and change of clothes, J.D. joins Elliot, Kim and Sean on the couch to watch home movies of Sam. He's seeing some of the stuff for the first time. That's just the price you pay as a part-time dad. It's obvious J.D. wants to be a bigger part of Sam's life, which is why the last thing he says is, "I think I'm gonna move here."
The Janitor's new wife is allergic to raccoons, so he had to throw out his comforter. Hey, marriage is all about compromises, right? The newlyweds had a nice honeymoon, which included Kelso. He stayed even after the Janitor left, but was finally kicked out of the country. Apparently that beach he visited wasn't a nude one.
Upon his return, Kelso gets hit with an intestinal virus. It's a result of pastries from the cafeteria, not that starfish he ate in the Bahamas. Kelso checks himself into Sacred Heart and eases his discomfort by blurting out the names of his favorite books whenever he vomits. We're wondering if "Green Eggs and Ham" is on the list or if that's just what he had for lunch.
We all know that Dr. Cox has never been a fan of Turk. So, when Turk lobbies hard for the Chief of Surgery job, it's no shocker that his efforts fall flat. Time to call in the big guns. Turk sends Carla in to plead his case to Cox. She asks Kelso who the best cutter in the hospital is and he says, "Turkelton-Hands downs." Dr. Cox still can't bring himself to give him the gig.
Cox and Kelso further discuss the Chief position as they walk the hospital halls. Kelso leaves the back of his hospital gown untied during their stroll. A little treat for the ladies (and a few guys). They come across an intern who has done some nice stitch work on a patient's leg. The intern says he learned how to do it well because Dr. Turk made him practice his stitching on oranges.
Dr. Cox can no longer deny that Turk is the best person for the job. He awards him the position as the new Chief of Surgery at Sacred Heart. We're just wondering if Turk will wear the colorful "Chief Hat" the Janitor made for him during surgeries. It looked sterile to us.