January 05, 2012 02:50:20 GMT
The estranged wife of Ashton Kutcher says in a first post-split interview that she has a love-hate relationship with her body and confesses that she's afraid of being unloved.
Demi Moore pours her heart out in her first interview post splitting from husband of six years, Ashton Kutcher. In the February issue of Harper's Bazaar, the ex-wife of Bruce Willis opens up about things that bother and fear her the most. She says it's her body issues and her feelings of rejection and abandonment that make her feel insecure sometimes.
"I have had a love-hate relationship with my body," she reveals about her struggle with the body image issues. "When I'm at the greatest odds with my body, it's usually because I feel my body's betraying me, whether that's been in the past, struggling with my weight and feeling that I couldn't eat what I wanted to eat, or that I couldn't get my body to do what I wanted it to do."
The 49-year-old actress continues, "I think I sit today in a place of greater acceptance of my body, and that includes not just my weight but all of the things that come with your changing body as you age to now experiencing my body as extremely thin - thin in a way that I never imagined somebody would be saying to me, 'You're too thin, and you don't look good'."
The love, though, comes when "I step back and have appreciation and look at all that my body has done for me. It's allowed me to give birth to three beautiful children, allowed me to explore different roles as an actor, allowed me to be strong," she gushes. "You have to look at it and go, 'Thank you. Thank you for standing by me, for being there for me no matter what I have put you through'."
In a further statement, Demi confesses, "What scares me is not having the courage to reach my full potential," but "it's not just about reaching my potential in terms of my career." She adds, "If I were to answer it just kind of bold-faced, I would say what scares me is that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not lovable, that I'm not worthy of being loved. That there's something fundamentally wrong with me."
Talking about how she finds freedom from those fears, she states, "Letting go of the outcome. Truly being in the moment. Not reflecting on the past. Not projecting into the future. That's freedom. Not caring more about what other people think than what you think. That's freedom." She goes on explaining, "To not be defined by your wounds. ... And not taking life too seriously."