The Hecks have been robbed! Okay, not really. That's just what Nancy Donahue thinks when she picks up the family's mail while they're out of town. The house looks as though it's been ransacked. It's actually just the usual mess that typically graces the Heck home. The police say the animals that trashed the place have no regard for human decency. Frankie knows the truth. This heinous act was an inside job.
Frankie goes into full spring-cleaning mode. Anything that hasn't been used in a year gets tossed. Frankie proclaims, "Oprah says we need to live for the life we're living today." Oprah is never wrong. They move everything out to the front lawn for sorting purposes. Come midnight, they call it a day. The family ends up doing more work the next morning, as other people have dumped their crap onto the Heck heap.
During the cleaning-fest, Frankie finds Mike's "decision list." It's a paper in which he lists the pros and cons of anything he's considering buying or doing. There was that time he was on the fence about getting a new mower. There's even a pro/con list about marrying Frankie. Uh-oh.
Frankie's "pros" include the fact that she's a tax break and that she's pretty. Mind you, these are in no particular order. She's also great at... Well, we'll never know. Mike didn't finish that one. He did, however, manage to come up with 15 "cons." As you can imagine, Frankie is a tad upset. She makes her own pro/con list about Mike on the back of Brick's report card. One "pro" for Frankie is that she never wastes paper.
Brick takes a seat at an old desk being left by the curb. A business opportunity arises when he gives directions to a lost driver. Brick doles out curbside information to anyone passing by for the low, low price of a dollar. Soon he's giving out advice to kids with upcoming history tests and joggers who'd like to know their target heart rate. But the outdoor entrepreneur is stumped when a kid asks him why his folks are getting a divorce.
Sue can't toss anything with sentimental value, like her collection of old curlers. She used to put them in her hair in a different order each time so that none of them would feel left out. As you can imagine, Axl isn't very understanding when he hears this. Frankie orders them both to haul a carload of stuff to the charity drop. The place is closed, so Axl and Sue do a dump and run. Hey, at least Sue finally ditched those curlers.
Frankie and Mike get into a full-on screaming match regarding those pesky pro/con lists. There's a pause in the yelling when Brick asks why people get divorced. Frankie and Mike think he's worried because they're fighting. In reality, Brick was just asking for one of his clients. Ahh.
This little scare inspires Frankie and Mike to ditch their lists. Well, they can toss Mike's. Frankie needs to sign her list so she can return the report card to the school. As for Brick's client, his folks weren't actually getting a divorce. He misheard mom and dad chatting about buying him a horse. The good news continues when police find all of the family's stolen stuff. The hooligans who swiped the goods dumped everything at a charity drop!