Meet Maxim Magazine's Five Unsexiest Women Alive

October 24, 2007 09:52:57 GMT

Sarah Jessica Parker has topped a poll by Maxim Magazine naming the Top Five Unsexiest Women Alive.

Sarah Jessica Parker
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Photo credit: Janet Mayer/PR Photos

It surely is bizarre, and sad of course. While the other females are competing to be included on the list of such poll, as the most beautiful and sexiest among others, the likes of Sarah Jessica Parker, Amy Winehouse, and Madonna have been chosen the World's Unsexiest Women.

The poll, which is conducted by men's magazine Maxim, has named Parker as the No. 1 Unsexiest Woman Alive, claiming her as the "least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women" that ironically starred in a show with the word "sex" in the title.

Junkie singer Winehouse, who's ranked 2nd on the poll, has been considered worth the predicate because of her "hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat's nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats."

Next on the poll is Sandra Oh. The "Grey's Anatomy" star is voted the 3rd Unsexiest Woman Alive due to her "cold bedside manner and boyish figure". Top pop singer Madonna, surprisingly, lands her feet at the 4th spot of the poll, blamed her "self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration" for that.

It's no surprise at all to find Britney Spears' name on the 5th spot of the poll. She worth the crown anyway. Having two children, two ex-husbands, a slight weight gain, and most of all "losing the ability to perform" helped Brit to be the 5th Unsexiest Woman Alive, though she deserves the 1st anyway.


Post Your Comments

posted by no on Jan 10, 2015
posted by RUDEDUDE on May 10, 2014
UGLY are the hearts and personalities of all who like this kind of stuff and who add to the fire of BEING MEAN TO OTHERS. All are beautiful to someone in their own way. and to me, their "balls" to go out in the world and kick ass is beautiful to me.
posted by Joshia on May 10, 2014
Sandra O is a norma looking women and she's plain because she chooses to not overly adorn or alter her looks. If you look up any of the famous beauties,most have had plastic surgery. People are people! and beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
posted by vie anne on May 10, 2014
Sarah J Parker is not ugly! she's elegant and very attractive. And she's very talented. And it's so rude to even have such a list. Why cannot we just learn to not "Go there" with hurting others. None of us would make the top sexiest list, so why are we hating on these RICH FAMOUS WOMEN? J E A L O U S Y!! pure and simple.
posted by coffeelover on May 13, 2012
If we're talking about some unsexy doctor from grey's anatomy, it is not christina yang (sandra oh), it is ERICA HAHN! remember her? the girl callie used to date before she met arizona robins? erica hahn makes anything related to love and lust look awkward!!! I bet if she was still in the show and was one of the main characters, she'd totally overshadow sandra oh's so-called unsexiness! ughhh
posted by Reality on Feb 18, 2011
Reason why these broads are put on her is so many other magazines constantly broadcast and tell us that they are sexy. Well, only to other women, Maxim has the balls to say no. These chicks are old and all that money couldn't help them with their looks.
posted by Jack on Dec 17, 2010
I totally agree, Sandra Oh is extremely unsexy. There is nothing more sexless than a man-hater.
posted by Bianca on Dec 16, 2010
ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I could NOT believe it when I read that Sandra Oh was on this list. I mean the others, well, while it's totally douchey of them to make such a list, I can understand where they're coming from. But Sandra Oh is OH so sexy to me, and always has been. She may have a cold bedside manner, but I bet she has a hot bed.. centre... manner... meaning she's hot in bed? Or something. Yeah... Anyway, I want her.
posted by baiaforever on Aug 23, 2010
Hmmm... where is the list for the 5 unsexiest men. Oh, I'm sorry that would need to be expanded to 100.
posted by sowega65 on Jul 29, 2010
Maxim is for losers who still live with their mothers. How about doing TOP 5 REASONS TO GET A JOB or TOP 5 REASONS NOT TO PROCREATE (That means have kids)
posted by decbrad on Jul 14, 2010
Jesus, that is a sick thing to publish! Poor girl!
posted by Idiots on May 04, 2010
All of u are stupid
posted by max on Mar 26, 2010
Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse, she deserves the #1 spot. I think modanna should have been #2.
posted by IIIIIIII on Dec 09, 2009
Its pretty obvious that these are women bitching on here. Don't complain about an article called about sexiness being shallow, you fucking idiots. Its not her lack of tits or ass, there are plenty of slender women who are beautiful, but she's just not one of them. Sexiness isn't based on character or even just a body. Her face is hideous. Just type in Sarah Jessica in google and see what it suggests for you.
posted by Giz on Nov 17, 2009
Blowme=Hardcore doucher Maxim= White Trash Entertainment for men with dysfunctional cognitive processes
posted by Aaron on Oct 25, 2009
Tori Spelling should have been #1. She puts the U.G.L.Y. in ugly!! hahaha
posted by danni on Oct 25, 2009
Sarah Jessica Parker is an attractive woman, so is Madonna. Everyone is so hung up on the "Pamela Anderson" look! Ugh!! get over it.... Britney Spears is not ugly shes just trashy!
posted by meech on Sep 13, 2009
this is disgusting on so many levels. Sandra Oh and SJP are far from unsexy. The only people who deserve to be on that list are Brittney and Winehouse.
posted by Blowme on Jun 02, 2009
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2008: This is absolutely ridiculous! This says to everyone that the men who actually partook on this travesty are shallow and completely dismissive of anything less than physical perfection. I am willing to bet that the voters are simply a bunch of UNloveable losers who attempt to hurt others because they are unhappy in their pathetic, lonely lives. Wise up fellas and give chivalry a chance, in the end it just might work out for you. ___________ Yeah, OK. Like women are so perfect too. LOL! Funny how you say men always want physical perfection, yet women do everything they can to embody that...I guess you've never seen a woman showing obnoxious (yet delicious)cleavage, wearing a miniskirt almost up to her crotch, midriff-baring shirts, or jeans so low you can see the crack of her ass? Truth is, women want to be phyisically perfect as much as men want to see are just honest about it instead of being a tease or a deceptive narcissist. Only men are shallow, huh? Fuckin' idiot...go make me a sammich, bitch! Please smash your head into a wall, it might knock some sense into you. Gotta G/F wants to blow me.
posted by Steve 68 on Jun 02, 2009
posted by whatever on Nov 29, 2008 Tori Spelling anyone? True! How did they manage to leave her out?
posted by Steve 68 on Jun 02, 2009
I'm no fan of Maxim (silly frat boy magazine), but I have to agree with them: SJP is NOT sexy at all. Her face looks like it belongs on a horse. Amy Winehouse should have been #1 though...she is just the epitome of disgusting.
posted by Baby girl on Feb 25, 2009
Thats fucked up. i think sarah jessica parker is sexy! but they were right about amy winehouse! shes UGLY!
posted by dean on Dec 14, 2008
this ranking is bogus. how in the hell you gonna put amy winehouse on number 2. she deserves to be number 1 no question and SJP an easy 2.. k toodles
posted by zara on Dec 04, 2008
sarah is a fucked up bucked tooth freak and so is madonna n' amy i'm soo proud the maxim fiannally relized that there faces looks like penis's kudos to u!!!!!
posted by sir on Dec 03, 2008
probably the most disgusting thing i've ever read. then again, it IS maxim.
posted by whatever on Nov 29, 2008
Tori Spelling anyone?
posted by Juls on Oct 24, 2008
I hate how guys don't think about their actions. How hurtful even if it isn't true. Have they seen Sarah Jessica's body??!!
posted by CAsunshine on Oct 11, 2008
This is beyond ridiculous. the creators of this really need to be slapped. Not only are the choices insaine, but the idea of such a list is something of pre-teen mentality, not of adult magazine editors. The people who participated in this are jackasses and in true need of some humiliation.. lets put their pictures up and have a vote on them... Dumbasses.
posted by Parsi on Aug 01, 2008
This really is terribel. Guess they weren't any decent polls to do, so this is best these geniuses could come up with.
posted by annabelle on Jul 28, 2008
Screw you maxim. This is utterly degrading and I would be embarrassed if this was published under my watch.
posted by So Sad on Jul 27, 2008
It's truly sad that this it what the world has come to, and NO I'm not another single stuck up woman ranting here - I just don't understand how we live in a society in such need of compassion and tolerance and yet magazine publishers see nothing wrong with printing hateful and degrading things about people. So SJP is the unsexiest woman alive? WHF? In what world? She's beautiful inside and out, she's talented, funny, so why do men feel so threatened? Should we all just throw in the towel now? If she is considered unsexy what hope do the rest of us single gals have? Maybe we should all just dye our hair blonde buy some boobs and a better ass and call it a day! I think I'm going to change my name to Candi - with an "i"....lmfao Screw 'em ladies....don't let anyone tell you you're not beautiful, we all our in our own way.
posted by anonymous on Jul 22, 2008
This is absolutely ridiculous! This says to everyone that the men who actually partook on this travesty are shallow and completely dismissive of anything less than physical perfection. I am willing to bet that the voters are simply a bunch of UNloveable losers who attempt to hurt others because they are unhappy in their pathetic, lonely lives. Wise up fellas and give chivalry a chance, in the end it just might work out for you.
posted by JohnMcLane on Jul 19, 2008
God Maxim are complete assholes. Thats such a fucking hurtful thing to do. And Britneys fat? Wtf, shes gaind a little weight since having kids- which in itself is understandable- but shes still a helluva lot skinnier than the average UK woman. Curves are cooler!
posted by yes on Jul 10, 2008
stupid, degrading, ridiculous... and it seems kind of low to bash britney for having a few extra pounds in a sentence mentioning that she's had 2 kids (and a whole lot of trouble). When you have kids, you gain some weight! And she isn't even overweight!!! She simply doesn't look like she did when she was 16 anymore. Shocker!
posted by qwerj on Jul 08, 2008
yeah fuck that!
posted by Rachel on Jun 13, 2008
Maxim is disgusting...and apparently blind? Or perhaps the entire male population really does just care more about big boobs, massive asses, and tiny waists. The article is degrading, sick, and so so clearly wrong. Sarah Jessica is an unconventional beauty. BEAUTY!
posted by Miss Champers on Mar 29, 2008
I cannot believe Sarah Jessica Parker and Madonna are in the least sexiest celebrities!! Who the hell votes in these poll? Teenage boys I suspect who prefer plastic trashy bimbos!
posted by vandewme on Nov 07, 2007
I'd love to go to the Maxim offices and take a good look at the jackasses who published this survey. I'm pretty sure they'd all land on my Top 5 unsexiest male list. It's a ridiculous, mean and degrading thing to publish. Not a shocker coming from Maxim.

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