Titled "the truth about everything (the wedding, Jake, Alissa, Erika, MTV, mental health, drugs, etc.)", the December 29 video saw the 21-year-old YouTube personality lying down on bed while holding back her tears. "I'm so unhappy with the way my relationship with Jake looks in the public eye and I've done so much pretending that I don't care what I do. So it’s my fault," she said.
"I loved Jake so much, I still do. But I did so much of being the cool girl and not caring because I wanted to do life with this person and I wanted to see them happy and thrive and I wanted to show them that there are people that will accept you for who you are," she continued. "I think I just put so much of myself into Jake that I lost myself, and that's not his fault, and I'm not blaming him for that at all. It's just the reality. I don't regret it."
Tana then revealed that they were so happy when they were dating, but everything went south immediately after the wedding night. "The second Jake and I got married, everything changed. I think the second he said, 'I do,' to me, he was like, 'Now what?' I think he was also over it. I don't blame him, but it left me clinging, trying to make this work."
"Everything just started to fall apart," Tana added. "The wedding night was just hell for me."
She also addressed her "open relationship" with Jake. "I feel like an open relationship with Jake was him being able to have sex with a new b***h every night, which I am not blaming him," she explained. "I was the one green lighting everything because I just wanted to make him happy. And letting it kill me. You can only let something kill you for so long until it's actually going to f****ing kill you."
Although she admitted that the relationship they have right now is toxic, Tana said that she still loves Jake. Jake could f***ing kill my whole family, I will always love him. I will always have a bond with him that I don't ever see myself having with anyone else," she said. "But does that mean that this is all healthy for me or him? Maybe not, but it's complicated."