AceShowbiz - Working on his memoirs helped Lamar Odom to overcome the tragedy he's experienced in his life.
The retired basketball player will release his first autobiography next month (June 2019), and the star revealed in an interview for ABC News on Tuesday, May 28 that reflecting on his life helped him work through a number of deep-rooted issues.
"It's not a story just about... the Kardashians, or drugs. It's really a story of triumph, and overcoming obstacles," he shared. "And tragedy - overcoming tragedy."
The 39-year-old was in a relationship with "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" star Khloe Kardashian from 2009-2013, when the 34-year-old filed for divorce when she found out that the sportsman had cheated on her with several women.
Reflecting on his destructive behaviour and battles with addiction, the star claimed his struggles began when his mother died of cancer when he was just 12 years old.
"You're looking to... fill that void, you know, with things," he said. "And, you know, some things I was trying to fill that void with were destructive."
Lamar admitted his drug of choice was cocaine, and revealed the first time he tried it it was during a sexual encounter.
"It's toxic. It was like unleashing of a demon," the former sportsman confessed. "I was professional at hiding it. Khloe didn't know for a long time."
He insisted, however, the secrets were getting harder to hide, and recalled one drug-induced rage where he threatened to kill his wife.
"I'm pretty sure she had to be scared at that point in time," he said. "I'm thinking about it now, like, I couldn't believe how I was treating that queen like that."
Odom says he feels he owes "her and her family an apology," insisting, "Her friends and family, they had to be embarrassed."
Speaking in an interview with People magazine earlier this month, the star shared his regret over how he behaved throughout the marriage.
"I wish I could have been more of a man," he confessed. "It still bothers me to this day. But regret is something we have to learn to live with."
"Darkness to Light: A Memoir by Lamar Odom" will be released on June 13.