Jennifer Lopez Reflects on Her Failed Romances: 'It Was About Me Figuring Out Me'
Harper's Bazaar

The 'Second Act' star takes the blame for her multiple failed relationships in the past, saying, 'Until you learn to love yourself, you can't completely love [someone else].'

AceShowbiz - Jennifer Lopez is owning up her contributions to her failed romances in the past. Even though she claimed to have found her "dream man" in boyfriend Alex Rodriguez, the "Second Act" star insisted that the success of her current relationship didn't come easily, considering she took time to figure herself out.

The ex-wife of fellow Latin singer Marc Anthony opened up about her love life in an interview with Harper's Bazaar for its February 2019 issue. "For me, the relationship journey has been very up and down," she admitted. "But it didn't have to do with anybody else but me - it was about me figuring out me."

The 49-year-old continued to share what she has learned from her mistakes. "Until you learn to love yourself, you can't completely love [someone else] in a way that is pure and true," she explained. "Once you do that, you can have relationships that are based on love and respect, that are supportive and nourishing. There's an evolution there that had to happen for me. I feel like I'm in a better place now."

Lopez did endure several failed romances, including the ones with Ben Affleck, Sean "P. Diddy" Combs and Casper Smart, before dating Rodriguez. However, she is determined not to let her past define her future. "I've got two amazing kids and a great boyfriend. I don't have everything figured out, and everything isn't perfect," she gushed. "But I feel very proud that with all the things I've gone through in my personal life, I'm still optimistic and hopeful."

The "Limitless" singer confessed that her optimism grew because of her children. "Once I had kids, I realized that I had to be better and do better. Not just for them but for myself," she spilled. "There's something about being responsible for another human being that makes you go, 'Okay, what am I doing for myself? How can I take care of someone else if I can't even take care of myself? How can I teach them how they should be treated if I allow people to treat me in a way that's not nice? How can I teach them to be hard workers if I'm not working hard?' I started examining myself from all different angles."

Though so, Lopez admitted she sometimes was still plagued with doubt about herself. "The thing about people, women especially, is that you can have 12 people telling you you're amazing, but that one person kind of putting you down, that's the voice that sticks in your head," she pointed out. "I think sometimes people try to make you feel like you're a fraud."

"And maybe you're afraid you're one too. Then finally you go, 'Wait, I'm not lying. I've been doing this a long time. This is not a mistake. I worked hard to be here.' And you know what? Congratulations to myself," the singer/actress elaborated. "Not in an arrogant way, by any means. It's like, 'You're doing good, baby. Give yourself a break.' "

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