AceShowbiz -

Vienna Girardi is opening up about how she's coping with the heartbreak of having a miscarriage at 18 weeks pregnant. During her visit to "The Doctors" on Thursday, November 2, the former "The Bachelor" contestant talked for the first time about losing her twin daughters in her miscarriage in August.

Girardi got emotional as she recalled the tragic turn of events. During her pregnancy, she had experienced twin to twin transfusion syndrome, where the blood supply of one twin moves to the other through the placenta. But she said her ultrasounds didn't draw cause for alarm.

"I was going into my fifth month and we thought we were in the clear," Girardi recalled. "I started getting my nursery ready and I had a gender reveal party, and I picked out their names. And then a week later I was sitting on my couch and my water broke." She continued, "I remember just crying and saying, 'I know my babies can't survive at 18 weeks,' " as tears rolled down her cheek

Girardi said she "refused" the doctors' suggestion to induce labor and wanted to try to save the babies instead. Days later, she fell into septic shock and could no longer feel the twins moving. An ultrasound solidified her worst fears, that she had miscarried. As Girardi's own life at stake, she was rushed into surgery.

Girardi confirmed the loss of her "little angels" in a heartbreaking Facebook post in August. Of how she's dealing with the devastating experience, an emotional Girardi said in the Thursday interview, "For the most part, I try my hardest not to think about it, but everyday I get in the elevator and there's a lady in my building who's pregnant and I stare at her belly the entire elevator ride up."

"Every time I hold my goddaughter or hold my niece, I don't want to let them go," she continued. "Everyday there's just constant reminders that I'm trying so hard to try to move past it, but it seems impossible to stop thinking about it."

The 31-year-old TV personality does want to have kids one day but is scared that she will not be able to. Opening up about her fear, she said, "The scariest part is after you have a miscarriage you start thinking 'Am I ever going to be able to have kids again? Is this going to happen again?' And with the surgery that I went through, it was one of the things they said is, 'You may not be able to have children again.' "

"So when I woke up, I remember one of the first things talking to my mom and asking her was 'Am I going to be able to get pregnant again?' " Girardi recalled. "She looked at me and she said 'Yes, the doctor said everything went smoothly and you will be able to get pregnant.' "