Marry Me Episode 1.12 F Me

Jake and Annie drunkenly stumble home from the ballet and start making out against their hipster neighbor Atlas' old-timey bike in their apartment lobby. Except, as Atlas obnoxiously points out, it's not a bike; it's a penny-farthing. Annie and Jake love their apartment, but man, do they hate some of the neighbors.

Case in point: there's a sign for a Building Art Show by the elevator. So of course, Jake defaces it, turning it into a Building Fart Show. Classic.

The next morning, amidst dual raging hangovers, Jake and Annie learn that the RSVPs for their wedding have come in, and EVERYONE is coming. In fact, they are officially one person away from the venue's capacity, which means there's only a single plus-one left to be split amongst Gil, Dennah and Kay. Luckily, the Kevins have graciously offered to break the news to them.

Just then, the doorbell starts ringing furiously - it's Jake and Annie's nemesis neighbor, Julie, and she's up in arms... again. This time, she's freaking out because there's been a hate crime in the building - someone defaced the art show sign with the F word (gasp! fart!), which is offensive because George, the guy who's throwing the event, suffers from IBS. So she's organizing an emergency building-wide meeting to get to the bottom of the travesty.

Jake and Annie head to the meeting, totally prepared to confess and brush the whole thing off. But when they arrive, they learn the co-op board is out for blood and plans to give a strike to whoever committed the hate crime. This is especially bad news for Jake and Annie, who already have two strikes against them, and a third would mean eviction. They quickly duck out of the meeting and abort their confession plan.

Unfortunately, Julie has organized yet another meeting about the hate crime - a "Carefrontation." At the Carefrontation, Julie carefronts Jake and Annie - she knows it was them, and she's going to get them evicted.

"Tonight wasn't a Carefrontation at all - it was a Carefrontraption!" she scoffs.

Jake is terrified - he's a terrible liar and wants to confess, but Annie has a better plan. She scrawls "LUSHES" on their front door and announces to the building that they, too, are victims of a hate crime! Suddenly the heat is off them - even Julie has stopped suspecting them. In fact, she has a new suspect: Atlas. While everyone else in the building calls Jake and Annie drunks, Atlas is the only one who uses the term "lushes."

So the board is now meeting to discuss Atlas' eviction and Jake and Annie are in the clear! Jake, for one, is totally relieved - Atlas is the worst, what with his composting and urban falconry - but now Annie feels guilty and wants to confess. Twist!

That night, Jake and Annie crash the board meeting to confess their hate crimes and face their punishment. But much to their surprise, Julie announces the board rejects their confession - yes, Jake and Annie are terrible tenants, but Atlas is so much worse. The board has been dying to evict him and now they have their chance.

"We don't understand him. Therefore we hate him," admits one board member.

"Isn't that the definition of hate crime?" Jake asks.

On their way out, Jake and Annie bemoan the triumph of evil over good - until they run into Atlas in the hall and offer him their support as fellow building outsiders.

"Can you get your hand off my frock coat? The oil on your fingers stains the suede," he responds.

"Let him burn!" Annie cries as Atlas saunters away.

Meanwhile, the Kevins sit Dennah, Kay and Gil down to break the bad plus-one news. While Kay has no problem going stag, Dennah and Gil are desperate to bring dates. Dennah is afraid to prove her mother right and be pathetically single at her best friend's wedding, while Gil is tired of everyone thinking he's a divorced loser. So to decide who gets the coveted date, Kevin 2 has orchestrated a Wedding Day Duel Down, and the only rule is, there are no rules! Dennah and Gil have to rustle up dates by the next day and the Kevins will decide which couple is wedding-worthy.

On the prowl for a quickie date, Dennah asks out Wes, her creepy yoga teacher, while Gil somehow convinces his ex-wife Cassie to be his potential date.

At the Wedding Date Duel Down, Kevin 2, who is filming the competition, hoping to turn it into a reality show, quizzes the newly minted couples about their budding relationships. In the end, Kevin 1 chooses Gil and Cassie, while Kevin 2 chooses Dennah and Wes. That means it's up to Kay to make the final decision.

The next day, on their way over to Kay's to bribe her to pick them, Dennah and Gil make a huge discovery: Kay has a girlfriend! Kay reluctantly admits they've been dating for two months and she's super into her, but she's afraid to invite her to the wedding and make it official - what if she rejects her? Considering Kay is the only one in an actual relationship, Dennah and Gil want Kay to have the plus-one, but only if she's willing to come out of the relationship closet.

That night, at the building Fart Show, Kay brings out a special guest she would like to introduce to the gang: her girlfriend Hailey. Everyone is way too excited to meet her - poor girl has no idea what's she's in for.