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Love Bites

Episode 1.02 : How to

Love Bites Poster

TV Info


Episode Premiere

June 09, 2011

Distributor

NBC

Genre

Romantic, Comedy

Show Period

2011 - 2011

Production Company

Universal Media Studios, Working Title Television

Cast and Crew


Director

Wendey Stanzler, Marc Buckland

Screenwriter

Colleen McGuinness, Danielle Sanchez-Witzels, Larry Wilmore

Main Cast

Synopsis


Jodi, the hostess at Annie's restaurant, dishes about her date with Charlie, which was great. Even though it's their third date, Annie thinks the relationship has pretty much run its course. Three dates for Jodi is like six months for a normal person because of her daddy issues. Jodi really likes Charlie, and she wants things to be different� so she baked a loaf of banana bread for him. But Charlie thinks the banana bread signals disaster. He tells his buddies it passes over all the best parts of early dating, like noncommittal sex and game playing. A woman who bakes banana bread wants to get serious. Meanwhile, Annie assures Jodi that Charlie will love the banana bread. But Charlie tells his buddies that he's going to end it with the one excuse girls never argue with.

Charlie visits Jodi at work to break up with her. He thinks she's great, but they're just better as friends. Even though the sex has been great, he values their friendship more. Claiming he's got to get going, Charlie returns the banana bread pan and skedaddles. Jodi puts it together, telling Annie all about what just happened. Annie sympathizes; she hates when guys say they want to be friends because it's such a lie. What frustrates Jodi is unresolved breakups, especially if the breakup is about banana bread. She's not needy - she was just trying to break her pattern. Charlie shouldn't get away with the "friend" excuse.

Jodi shows up at Charlie's place unannounced, assuring him that "friends do drop-bys." Since they're better as friends, she wants to celebrate with a "Heigl-fest" - a Katherine Heigl movie marathon. Charlie tries to weasel out, but Jodi seductively asks if he knows what else she likes to do while watching movies. The answer? "Have a friend brush my hair." Later, Charlie tells his buddies that Jodi is a diabolical genius and asks for their help with an exit strategy. Just then, Jodi calls, asking to borrow $100 since they're such great friends. When Jodi hears Charlie's posse adding their two cents, he covers, claiming they're making plans - to go to a strip club. Would Jodi like to come along since they're such great friends?

Jodi puts Charlie on hold and asks Annie what to do. Annie tells Jodi to say no, but Jodi's determined to stop Charlie's nefarious friend strategy; so she resumes the conversation, asking if she can bring a friend. Afterwards, Annie admits she's lonely and gets emotional, blaming it on hormones. Jodi warns Annie that if she starts crying, they lose. Annie promises to get it together, then tells Jodi to crack open the register because they're going to need some ones. That night, Jodi and Annie meet Charlie and his friends at the strip club. Charlie insists another thing friends do is buy each other lap dances and buys her a lap dance with a stripper named Sapphire.

Sapphire leads Jodi and Annie to a private area where she gives Jodi a lap dance, while Charlie and his friends ogle from across the room. Sapphire gives Annie great pregnancy advice, all the while grinding on Jodi. Charlie's friends tell him that he blew it. Not only is Jodi a wizard in the kitchen, but she's into girl-on-girl! Afterwards, Jodi thanks Charlie for the lap dance - Sapphire is an amazing woman, who's raising her special-needs child on her own. Charlie gives up, telling Jodi she wins. He doesn't need her to ruin Sapphire, and he doesn't want to be friends. He lied to be nice, and yes, he broke up with her because of the banana bread. Jodi explains she doesn't bake all that much, nor put herself out there; this is what she gets the one time she does. Charlie's never going to see how cool she is because he got scared of her "scary" banana bread. Jodi and Annie huff out of the club.

Charlie runs after Jodi to apologize, asking if they can call a truce. They're even because she subjected him to six hours of Katherine Heigl. Jodi reveals that it was torture for her, too, because she's more of a horror film girl. Turns out George Romero is Charlie's hero, and Jodi was once a zombie nun extra. Hoping to get past the banana bread, Charlie invites Jodi to watch some of his zombie movies sometime - as friends. Jodi comments that she already has a lot of friends� but she's also really into sex. Charlie is, too, so they hail a taxi together.

Faye and Ed walk through the Venice, California canals to visit their son Kyle. Faye reminds Ed that this weekend is about showing Kyle and his boyfriend Drew that they're open-minded, accepting and progressive. Faye especially wants Ed to show Kyle and Drew how far he's come. Spying Judd, Faye mistakes him for Drew and gives him a big hug. Ed's just hoping Judd will put some pants on. That's when Kyle pokes his head above some greenery to tell his parents they've got the wrong house. Faye and Ed meet the real Drew, who is African American, which they didn't know. Faye goes overboard trying to demonstrate how okay she is with Drew being black and gay and how much she knows about gay culture. Faye notices an abstract painting on the wall, recognizing it as Kyle's penis. When Ed comments, "My son's junk is hangin' on a freakin' wall," Drew suggests drinks to cut the embarrassment.

Ed and Faye enjoy mojitos with Kyle and Drew, though Ed would prefer a beer. Ed and Kyle disagree over the benefits of composting - the way to get rats or the way to save the earth. Ed again rubs Kyle the wrong way when he relays a story he told about visiting Kyle and his "roommate." Drew tries to smooth things over, but Kyle reacts dramatically, per usual. Faye tells Ed to refer to Drew as Kyle's "lover." Drew thinks "boyfriend" would be fine. Later, when Faye and Ed settle in to get some sleep, Faye lectures Ed about his bad behavior. As soon as they turn out the light, they hear noises from the next room, which sound like Kyle and Drew having sex. It's too much for Ed, who goes outside to get some air. When Ed spies Judd clearing beer bottles off his patio, Ed asks if he has any more. Judd invites him over.

Ed and Judd shoot the breeze over beer. Ed confesses he's fine with his son being "a gay," but the sound of him going at it with another man is too much. Wondering if he's just old-fashioned, Ed's distracted by an image on Judd's computer, a video of Sapphire teaching how to rewire a lamp. Ed wonders how Judd hides the video from his wife. Judd says there's no need. Colleen loves Sapphire and has used her videos to retile the bathroom. Judd tells Ed not to be so hard on himself; he'd be uncomfortable if his daughter was having sex in the next room, too. After all, everyone has ideas they have to let go of. Judd has a thing against Fox News, Republicans and people who buy guns, and Ed can probably check at least one of those boxes. Just because they disagree doesn't mean they can't sit and enjoy a beer together. An awkward silence follows. Ed breaks it, asking if Sapphire knows anything about grout, the bane of his existence.

Ed finds Drew fixing the hinges on their gate and offers to help. Drew apologizes for the noise earlier, explaining that he and Kyle were hanging a painting. Ed thinks this is code word for sex, but Drew clarifies - they were replacing the abstract penis art in the living room. Drew realizes what Ed thought they were doing and assures him that they would never be that disrespectful. Ed apologizes; usually anything he says upsets Kyle. Drew admits Kyle's just a drama queen, who gets hysterical, then forgets later. In fact, Kyle's always saying great things about Ed, who's a lot nicer than Drew's dad. Drew asks for Ed's permission to marry Kyle, explaining that he's old-fashioned. After a nice moment, Drew encourages Ed to be honest about he feels about the wedding proposal.

The next day, Kyle and Drew host brunch for all their friends. Drew calls for everyone's attention, then kneels to propose to Kyle. Kyle accepts. Ed takes the opportunity to make a heartwarming speech, congratulating both of them. Faye, however, freaks out when Ed asks her to say a few words. She downs a drink and starts clearing plates, then leaves in a tizzy. Later, Ed and Kyle find Faye at Judd's, cleaning frenetically. When Kyle wonders if Faye is opposed to gay marriage, she insists she's not. She just never thought Kyle would find someone to be with forever. She thought Kyle would grow old with her. Ed thinks Faye sounds very homophobic. Kyle agrees, insisting Faye has ruined March 19th, the day of his proposal, forever. Kyle huffs out, and Faye runs after him, apologizing. Drew walks in, late to the party, wondering what happened. Ed assures him it's just a couple of drama queens.

Judd and Colleen attend a party for Colleen's friend, Krista, who just self-published her book. Judd wonders who throws a party for a self-published book, then remarks that Krista hates him. Why? Across the room, Judd spots Dr. O, the sex guru from Channel 5. Colleen's skeptical; but Judd's a big fan, so he introduces himself. Dr. O mentions that his new book is about achieving the ultimate intimacy with your partner via "eyegasms," deep, constant eye contact during mutual climax. Colleen laughs, finding the concept ridiculous. Later, while having sex, Judd asks Colleen to try an eyegasm. When Colleen starts giggling, Judd calls her laughter "typical vaginal deflection," a term from Dr. O's book. Judd reminds Colleen that she's the one who always wants to try new things. By new things, Colleen meant going to the symphony or on a hike. Judd says he'll do both if Colleen will do this for him.

Colleen thinks eyegasms are weird; they should be focusing on "ourgasm" instead. She admits that sometimes she needs to keep her eyes closed and stay in her own world� because she fantasizes. Judd starts to panic - is Colleen fantasizing about men that aren't him? Colleen confesses to fantasizing about firemen, plural. It's a heroic 9/11 thing. When Judd insists his mind is always faithful, Colleen encourages Judd to try fantasizing. After sex, Colleen asks Judd what he was thinking about, and he admits he was thinking about a barista - named Jenny. Angry that Judd's fantasy is an actual person as opposed to faceless firefighters, Colleen puts up the "pillow wall."

The next morning, Colleen apologizes and gives Judd a peace offering, a cup of coffee filled with marshmallow and pickle chips. When Judd suggests she's not over the barista, Colleen insists she's all good, then leaves for yoga, giving Judd some reassuring "goodbye tongue." On the way to class, Colleen tells her friend Krista all about what happened. Krista doesn't think it's that big a deal, and no, she doesn't hate Judd; but Colleen heads to the coffee shop to check out Judd's cute, blond barista, Jenny. Krista tries to reassure Colleen to no avail. When Judd shows up for his morning joe, Krista tells him she hates him and leaves. Judd and Colleen erupt in an argument about Jenny, who eventually shows up with Judd's usual and overhears their argument. Judd pretends he doesn't know Jenny's name, much to the disgust of both women.

Judd's watching Dr. O's program on TV when Colleen returns home. Unable to believe he's watching such crap, Colleen asks Judd to turn off the show. When he doesn't, Colleen turns it off herself, so Judd picks up the phone and calls Dr. O, asking to talk about eyegasms. Judd complains that Colleen used to have orgasms all the time until Dr. O opened his "big shrimp hole" about eyegasms. Judd insists that he doesn't need to spice up his marriage, because he loves his wife, who's the most provocative woman he's ever met. She's his real life fantasy. After hugs and kisses, Colleen and Judd agree to have private headspace and keep their fantasies to themselves.

Later, after great sex, Colleen asks if Judd wants break their new rule and hear about her fantasy. She was just thinking about him� as a fireman. Judd says, "Same here," just as in his fantasy world, Jenny sits up in bed to make out with Colleen. Meanwhile, in New York, Annie watches one of Sapphire's web videos about how to make banana bread. After putting a loaf in the oven, she rubs her belly maternally. Jodi and Charlie watch zombie movies at Charlie's place as Jodi brushes Charlie's hair, which he has to admit, feels great. Back in Venice, Drew and Kyle hear Ed and Faye having sex, so they retreat to Judd's house for beer.

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