Stan is in bed writing an essay about President Bush for a contest when he and Francine hear something downstairs. Stan grabs his shotgun from under his pillow and goes downstairs to see who made the sound. He sees a figure near the door and attacks. Before killing the person, he realizes it Hayley. She missed her curfew. Stan finds a flask of rum on Hayley and runs back upstairs to finish his essay before the midnight deadline.
In a dream, Steve imagines he is Luke Skywalker in a snowstorm. He wakes to find Roger has put him in a bath of ice. Roger is cooling him down so he can harvest his organs and sell them so he can make money to buy Dollywood.
Meanwhile, at the CIA, Stan finds out that he hasn't won the Bush essay contest and Bush won't be visiting him. Back at the house, Roger explains to Steve that he knows where Osama Bin Laden is hiding - he's posing as an accountant in Washington DC. Roger plans to find him and use the reward money to buy Dollywood.
Stan is complaining to Francine about losing the contest when Hayley walks in. He blames his loss in the contest on her by labeling her a lost cause. As she opens the door to leave, the family sees President Bush standing at the door. Stan introduces Bush to the family. Stan invites Bush to stay for dinner and takes him on a tour of the family house. While on the tour, Roger, dressed up as a maid, tries to get Bush to listen to him about finding Bin Laden, and Hayley tries to get Bush to answer question about Iraq before being dart drugged by Stan.
At dinner, Hayley is drugged and Steve tells Bush he has something to tell him but Stan makes him help him take Hayley to the basement before he can say anything. Roger uses an autographed George Brett baseball to lure Bush upstairs and tells him he has something to say to him. Roger offers Bush a hot-pocket made from rhinestones, but Bush chokes on it. Roger gets him gin and scotch to wash it down.
Hayley escapes the basement and Roger and Bush come downstairs sharing bottles of liquor. Hayley gloats that Bush is drinking again and Stan tries to sober him up. Stan goes to get some coffee and when he comes back, Hayley has taken Bush partying with the intention of taking down the presidency. Stan hunts down Bush and Hayley. Bush is really drunk and acting crazy; Hayley is recording incriminating video on her cell phone, but Stan is trying to get him to go back so he can make his press conference. Roger and Steve set out to find Bush too so they can get the reward money.
While Bush runs around, Hayley and Stan drive after him, Stan confronts Hayley on being irresponsible and having rum. She denies the flask was hers. Bush escapes and goes for a skinny dip in a neighbor's pool. Stan finds him and gives him his jacket so he's not running around naked. Bush runs off. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve find a house they think is Osama's and tie up the occupant.
Stan finally chases down Bush, and Bush confesses that he doesn't enjoy the presidency and is going to step down. He tries to find his cell phone from his pocket, but since he's wearing Stan's jacket, pulls Stan's essay out of a pocket instead. Bush reads Stan's fawning essay and starts to feel happy again.
Roger and Steve torture the person they think is Osama but Steve has second thoughts and tells Roger their theory on Osama is wrong. Roger agrees with Steve and decides to rob the house instead. Back at the house, Bush, Stan and Hayley are at the front door finishing reading the essay when Hayley's friends show up. Her friends mention her flask, so Stan says, "so it was your flask." Then Hayley mentions to Bush that Stan called her a lost cause. Bush tells Stan that he was considered a lost cause but now he's the President and therefore that Hayley can be considered to be on track to be President. Stan is pleased and Hayley deletes the video she has of Bush. Bush leaves to go to his press conference.
Finally, Roger's theory about Osama proves to be correct.