As Donna's butler of honor for her wedding, Tom is overseeing the critical details - like picking the tastiest wedding cake. He arranges a blind tasting for Terry, Donna and her fiancé, Joe. They debate the merits of each cake until Tom has a surprise cake brought in by DJ Blunt, a cake that's sweeter than all the rest. It's a celebration cake with the immortal words "Treat Yo Self" writ large. As a surprise splurge, Tom is taking Donna to LA for the ultimate pre-wedding pampering.
Before they head out, Donna invites Lucy to the wedding, and Tom makes an offhand, awkward invitation for her to come as his date. He quickly backpedals and tells Lucy she could also come to the wedding to supervise the catering. As Donna and Tom head out in a stretch limo, Donna takes Tom to task for his disastrous interaction with Lucy.
Leslie, Andy, April, Ron and Ben sit watching Gryzzl's Roscoe Santangelo defend himself on Trodd Frankensteip's TV show, the Troddcast. Roscoe explains that the people at Gryzzl never felt they had done anything wrong by data mining, but after poring through their customers' data, they now understand how some people feel invaded. As a conciliatory gesture, Gryzzl is throwing a free concert featuring U2 and Beyoncé; the townspeople already have the invitations on their phones.
Leslie declares that Gryzzl is on the rocks and ready to be outmaneuvered. April floats a plan: divide the Newport land, with Gryzzl occupying half for their corporate campus and then donating the other half for a scaled down park. It's a compromise, she says, but one that might work, given Gryzzl's recent horrible press.
But the plan seems dead before it can even be floated. Jessica Newport Hicks announces that Gryzzl has upped its offer to $125 million for the parcel. Despite the Newports' prior reluctance to sell to Gryzzl amidst allegations of their privacy malfeasance, the new offer is just too good to pass up. The deal is done. Defeated, Ron invites Leslie to drown her sorrows over waffles at J.J.'s Diner.
While waffles are always comforting, the conversation at the diner is subdued. Leslie recognizes that Pawnee is changing. Some of it for the better (there's a pet hotel and juice bars), but much of it has changed for the worse. Perhaps most shocking: J.J.'s Diner has lost its lease and is closing after 41 years. The culprit is the building's owner, local cologne magnate Dennis Feinstein. Leslie declares that this will not stand.
Leslie immediately mobilizes the team. She empowers April to get a protest rally together, tells Andy to get Johnny Karate to pay Feinstein a visit and implores Ron to help her fight to the finish. "I can think of nothing more noble to go to war over than bacon and eggs," Ron tells her.
The rally takes place outside Feinstein's headquarters and draws a lively crowd. Even Ron Swanson gives a speech, despite his clear disdain for the left-leaning horde. Inside, Jonathan Karate (Andy) and his band of child ninja sneak into Feinstein's office to confront him. Feinstein's confused by the outcry over a dumpy diner but concedes that it could be bad for business. He agrees to address the madding crowd outside.
At first Feinstein tells the crowd that he's touched by their passion and that J.J.'s can stay - but then he quickly yells "psych!" and tells them to all leave his property. He signals to his henchmen on the roof to begin spraying the crowd with "The Hounds," his new cologne that smells like wet dogs.
In LA, Tom and Donna hit it hard: shopping on Rodeo Drive, getting their photos snapped by paparazzi, strolling the Walk of Fame and being pampered poolside at a Hollywood rooftop lounge. They head to Malibu to dine at LA's hottest fish restaurant, an eatery where all the sushi is made from fish that was once owned by celebrities. They spot Josh Groban eating his own soft-shell crab. Tom and Donna are over the moon.
Still, Tom can't help but check his phone for a text from Lucy. Donna offers him some advice: let her know how you feel about her before it's too late. She then gives him a gift he's been dreaming of: the same model of shoes that Jaden Smith wore in the recent hit, "Hitch II: Son of a Hitch."
Leslie, Ben, Ron, Andy and April regroup to brainstorm how best to save J.J.'s. April notes that there are plenty of buildings available in a rundown part of Pawnee known as Beachview Terrace. Maybe J.J.'s could relocate there? They trundle off to tour a possible diner-friendly building in the broken neighborhood filled with trash, graffiti and raccoons. J.J. himself is dubious and even the real estate agent can't believe anyone would be interested. Even if the building's structure is sound, J.J. tells Ron, the neighborhood is essentially abandoned; there wouldn't be enough customers to keep the diner going.
But just as it seems hopeless, Leslie and Ron hit on a killer idea: convince Gryzzl to locate its new headquarters here in Beachview Terrace, revitalizing the district (and creating a customer base for a relocated J.J.,'s Diner), and then donate the newly purchased Newport land for use as a park. Everyone wins - if the gang can convince Gryzzl.
Five days later, they bring Roscoe Santangelo out for a tour. At first the Gryzzl VP thinks it's a crazy idea, but Ron explains that building a new headquarters on undeveloped land will cost the company over 100 million additional dollars for infrastructure and construction. If Gryzzl moves into an existing neighborhood in Pawnee, the company will save a bundle on building costs. What's more, Ron tells Roscoe, donating the land world bring Gryzzl a hefty tax write-off and some much needed goodwill with the people of Pawnee. Roscoe tells them he'll take the idea back to his board... as soon as they come down from tripping on magic mushrooms at Coachella.
Back from his fabulous California trip with Donna, Tom returns to the Bistro. When Lucy approaches, Tom tells her that he'd like her to come to the wedding not in a work context, but as his date. He realizes that since he's her boss, that would be ethically wrong, so he's transferred day-to-day operations of Tom's Bistro to Craig. A smiling Lucy counters that she only wants to go to the wedding as his date, not his employee. Ecstatic, Tom immediately retakes control of the restaurant from Craig.
Andy has one last bit of business to take care of with Feinstein: Johnny Karate and his young ninjas toilet paper Feinstein's office.
Leslie's getting desperate. It's been five days since they pitched Gryzzl. She sits drinking scotch with Ron, wondering if the whole idea has collapsed. Ron tells her not to despair; he's confident Gryzzl will come around. When Leslie asks how he can be so sure, Ron giggles and admits that Gryzzl called him three hours ago and asked him to begin the drawings for the renovation. Leslie's livid at Ron - and thrilled. They share an awkward hug. Leslie was right: good things do happen whenever she and Ron get together.