It's Johnny Karate's last show and the show host (Andy) is pulling out all the stops. Over some upbeat theme music and cheers from a live audience of youngsters, Announcer Perd Hapley sets the stage. Johnny greets the children warmly and invites them to join in with singing "The Welcome Song." But when Johnny walks over to grab his guitar, there's nothing but an empty stand - the instrument has been stolen! It's clearly a case for Special Agent Bert Macklin. Bert vows that the perpetrator will be caught, songs will be sung and the culprit will meet with swift justice in the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank.
Johnny explains that this is his last show because his wife April has taken a very cool job in Washington, D.C. Johnny couldn't be more proud or in love. He points out a few of D.C.'s cool features to the kids (who knew the Lincoln Memorial was a statue of giant monster who represents America's enemies?) before introducing April.
April walks out to introduce her final April's Animal Corner showcase: a Goliath Bird-eating Tarantula. As Johnny removes the veil from the animal's box, everyone's surprised: the creature has escaped. Not exactly the first time (it turns out Johnny was playing hide and seek with the tarantula, unsuccessfully it seems). Johnny instructs the director to run the standard disclaimer for an animal loose in the studio and then we move on.
Johnny Karate has five moves for success and tonight will be no exception. Step One: Go Make Something. Johnny stops by Carpenter Ron to learn how to make a shadow box from cherrywood. Ron expresses his appreciation for all that Johnny's done for the community; Johnny responds by trying to hug Ron. Ron waves him off and Johnny's on to the next move: Learn Something.
Professor Smartbrain (aka Ben Wyatt) stands at his blackboard; he's ready to teach a little geography, specifically how long it takes to get to D.C. from Pawnee via different transportation methods. Johnny protests that the professor has not included teleportation on his list of options. Professor Smartbrain explains that teleportation is impossible. But of course the word "impossible" does not exist to Johnny Karate. As Ben protests, Johnny shuts him down, hitting the Boring Buzzer.
Mailman Barry (Garry) pops in, delivering over five hundreds letters from well-wishers who want Johnny to stay. Barry mentions a very special letter, from himself, that he wishes to read. He likens Johnny to the son he never had. But before he can really lay on the schmaltz, Johnny calls for a karate chop attack. A small army of young ninjas floods the stage, chopping and kicking away at poor Barry.
Johnny goes on to the next move: Try Something New. Leslie Knope is on hand to explain that today, she's taking over the show, because the remainder of the show will be dedicated to the story of Johnny Karate. Johnny's speechless. Perd announces us out to commercial. We then see a local spot for Very Good Building and Development Company. Its proprietor, Mr. Ron Swanson, makes a very brief pitch, then explains that he doesn't care if you choose his company or not. "I'm not a beggar," he explains. Another spot follows, featuring Wamapoke chief Ken Hotate inviting everyone to the Wamapoke Casino.
We return to the show, where Leslie tells the story of Andy Dwyer from his broken legs, to the start of the park, to his shoeshine stand. Ben moves in to present Andy with a monogrammed leather day planner, so he'll never forget his appointments again. Andy's touched, but loses the planner almost immediately. Leslie continues with Andy's story, including his being knighted by the Earl of Covington as a loyal and true karate defender of the realm. Ben gets in on the knighting action himself.
We see another commercial, this one for Paunch Burger's new Breakfast for Dinner Burger combo. "Put it in your body, or you're a nerd," the announcer gushes.
We return to learn the story of Mouse Rat, Andy's rock band and then see a tribute to Bert Macklin, Andy's FBI Agent alter ego. Officer Randy Killnose of the Pawnee Police Department stops by with Ron to present a shadow box featuring an honorary police officer's badge for Andy. Andy, once an aspiring cop, is thrilled, breaking the shadow box's glass to access the coveted badge inside. Leslie tells Andy that since he's now a cop, he should be able to solve the case of the missing guitar. Andy/Johnny/Bert is on the case, rushing a piece of fabric found near the guitar to professor Smartbrain for analysis. They discover two tiny initials on the fabric: J.C.
As they ponder who J.C. might be, the culprit shows up. It's martial arts superstar John Cena, carrying the guitar. Bert throws him into cuffs and marches him over to the dunk tank for some Johnny Karate-style justice.
Leslie returns with an announcement. To memorialize Johnny's fine work, they've decided to retire his karate gi, bringing it to a place of honor in the rafters. Donna appears, singing a sultry "Kung Fu Fighting" with some beautiful sax accompaniment from Mr. Duke Silver as the gi is lifted. Leslie throws to commercial, this time for the new ultra-conglomerate, Verizon/Exxon/Chipotle.
We return to the show to find Andy/Johnny in a tuxedo reflecting on the occasion of saying goodbye. He's touched by all the love and warmth bestowed today, but he also knows the show must go on. He recounts today's moves to success and then introduces the final directive: Be Nice to Someone. He explains that his wife April is the perfect person to be nice to today; he calls her up to the stage but April runs off. Andy catches up with her in the wings of the stage. April's distraught: she sees how beloved her husband is and how much joy he brings to Pawnee. She can't face taking it away from him, she tells him. But Andy explains: this is all because of her - she is what drives him to greatness. He tells her that they'll head to Washington for a while and figure it out, as they always do. April's consoled and touched. "That was a very good 'Be Nice to Someone' segment, she tells him. She's right.
With the moves covered for today and forever, Johnny brings the whole cast center stage for a sing-along goodbye song. It's a lilting love song to a local kids institution. Johnny tells the audience and the kids at home, "Goodbye, Pawnee. I will miss you!"
There's just one last bit of business remaining: John Cena at the dunk tank. The WWE star screams to be let go; he's noticed that the tarantula has reappeared and is headed toward him. April offers to help out, pushing the button and dropping John Cena into the Funky Monkey Dunk Tank. Fare thee well, Johnny Karate.