AceShowbiz - Holly Madison got candid about her experience as a Playboy Bunny and one of Hugh Hefner's many girlfriends. During her appearance on the "Power: Hugh Hefner" podcast, the 41-year-old model discussed about getting invited to spend a night out with Hefner.
Madison admitted to feeling "nervous" at the time. She also noted that she actually hoped to be invited to live in Hefner's Playboy Mansion as one of Hefner's girlfriends had recently left the house.
"I didn't really know what went on with them sexually," Madison, who dated the late icon from 2001 to 2008, revealed. "I knew there must be something and I was prepared for that. I wasn't prepared for what would eventually happen."
She recalled heading back to the mansion after spending some time in a club that night. "I wasn't necessarily expecting to have sex that night, I thought it would be more of a first date -- even though obviously it's not a very traditional first date," she said. "I thought it would be more the type of thing where I saw what happened, saw what was going on. If I wasn't comfortable with it I wouldn't have to do anything and I could make my decision on whether I wanted to come back for date No. 2 or not."
Things didn't go as she wished though, as they ended up having sex. "I definitely was not expecting to be the first one to go that night but I was wasted," she said. "He was literally pushed on top of me. And after it happened, I was just mortified and embarrassed and it had way more of an emotional impact on me than I thought it would."
In the interview, Madison shared that while she e had "always admired" Hefner, she was "horrified" by the idea that the others knew what had happened between them. "I thought he was really smart, I really looked up to him, so I liked him and it wasn't that the idea of possibly having sex with him repelled me so much -- I know that's not relatable to a lot of people because they're like 'Oh he's an old man, gross,' " she said.
"It was more the group aspect that was really out of my comfort zone and just the feeling of 'Wow, okay, that happened. Everybody knows it happened,' " Madison continued. "I kind of all of a sudden felt like everybody was going to know about me, and I was horrified by it."
For those who thought that she should have left right away following the "traumatic experience," Madison said, "I felt like, 'There's no taking that back so I might as well get what I came for.' I felt like by moving myself in and getting what I wanted from the situation, that was demanding respect in a way. I felt like if I didn't do that I was just going to be haunted by this experience."