AceShowbiz - Billie Eilish says she's "ashamed" of her past after her old controversial videos resurfaced online. Alluding that she has changed over the last few years since she posted the videos that featured her using an epithet and speaking in a stereotypical Asian accent, the singer admits, "I said so many things then that I totally don't agree with now, or think the opposite thing."
The Grammy Award-winning artist goes on addressing the scrutiny over her old videos in an interview with Vogue Australia, "The internet brings up things from everybody's past and I'm like: 'Don't you guys understand that everybody is incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about their past? ' " She adds in the cover story, published on Friday, July 16, "Like, 'Do you not think about the fact that maybe you're embarrassed of your past, so maybe everybody else is embarrassed, too?"
Billie then reflects on what it's like to grow up in the public eye and in the age of the internet. "The weirdest thing is how nothing ever goes away once it's on the Internet," she says. "Every interview I did when I was 15 is still out there, and I think about it constantly. … When you're a f**king teenager, you don't really know yourself, so you're trying to figure yourself out. That was the hardest thing for me: I didn't actually know how I really felt. So I just came up with this facade that I stuck to."
Billie previously admitted she's "embarrassed" after her old videos that portrayed her as a racist were brought up by an Internet user. "there's a video edit going around of me when i was 13 or 14 where i mouthed a word from a song that at the time i didn't know was a derogatory term and used against members of the asian community," she wrote on her Instagram Story on June 21. "i am appalled and embarrassed and want to barf that i ever mouthed along to that word."