Hank and his friends become volunteer firefighters--with disastrous consequences.
In the present day, Hank, Dale, Bill and Boomhauer meet with the Heimlich County fire chief inside an interrogation room. The fire chief warns the men that they are all in serious trouble. As the story unfolds in flashback, Hank, Dale and Boomhauer watch as Heck Dorland drives a fire truck towards the common alley. Bill, wearing a fireman's helmet, hops off the vehicle and proudly exclaims that is now a firefighter. Heck explains to the men that the professional firefighters are on strike--leaving the city's defense in the hands of volunteers. He asks Hank and his friends if they are interested in joining. The three men, in ecstasy, run towards the truck. Later, as Peggy fixes dinner, Hank enters the house wearing a fireman's helmet. When Luanne excitedly expresses her desire to become a firefighter, Hank insists she isn't strong enough to carry a large man out of a burning building. Peggy disagrees. She demonstrates a "fireperson's carry," which allows a woman to lift a man's weight using leverage. Unfortunately, Peggy hurts herself in the process. Later, Hank and his buddies practice dousing a trash fire using a hose. Dale loses control of the hose and it flails on the ground, dousing his colleagues. Back at the firehouse, the men bask in the clublike atmosphere. There, Heck introduces Hank to an elderly man named Chet Elderson, one of the town's first volunteer firemen. Chet notices that someone unplugged his neon Alamo beer sign. Dale plugs it back in, but receives an electric shock in the process. One day, Hank and his buddies drive past the middle school, attracting the attention of Bobby and his friends. The boys want to board the fire truck, but Hank notes their muddy feet. The men decide to clean the boys using the fire hose. Unfortunately, the group strips the bolt on a hydrant, producing a geyser of water.
As time passes, the men's behavior at the firehouse turns more and more juvenile. A sleepless Hank protests when Dale and Bill play ping-pong one night. But the pair ignore his pleas for quiet. Angered, Hank rises from his bed, grabs the ping-pong ball, and smashes it with his foot. In retaliation, Bill removes Hank's eyeglasses and crushes them with his foot. Angered over the crushed ball, Dale throws a hot Frito pie at Hank, but misses and strikes Bill in the face. Hank chases after Bill, who becomes stuck on the fire pole. Later that night, the men receive word of Chet Elderson's passing. The funeral turns disastrous when Hank, Bill, Dale and Boomhauer, acting as pall bearers, tumble into the open grave. Afterwards, at the fire station, Dale plugs in Chet's beloved Alamo beer sign. Hank yanks out the cord, but Dale plugs it back in. Suddenly, the station's fire alarm sounds. The men are dispatched to a fire at Goobersmooches restaurant. Just before the men hop aboard the fire engine, Bill runs to his uniform holding a roasted marshmallow; Dale discards a cigarette; and Boomhauer knocks over a tanning lamp. When the foursome arrive at the restaurant, Heck has already extinguished the blaze. But when they return to the station house, they find it engulfed in flames. The men recount for the fire chief what transpired moments before they left for Goobersmooches. Eventually, the chief concludes that the fire house blaze could have been caused by Dale's smoking, Boomhauer's tanning, or Bill's eating. But Hank reveals it was none of these. He recounts how, when he hopped into the driver's seat of the fire truck, he saw the Alamo beer sign flashing in the rear view mirror. He blames Chet Elderson for plugging in the defective sign, and for accidentally causing the fire. The fire chief accepts the story...much to Dale's relief.