Episode PremiereMarch 25, 2012
Show Period2012 - 2012
Production CompanyABC Studios, Darren Star Productions
Cast and Crew
ScreenwriterHenry Alonso Myers
- Leslie Bibb as Amanda Vaughn
- Annie Potts
- Brad Beyer
- David James Elliott as Ripp Cockburn
- Jennifer Aspen
- Kristin Chenoweth as Darlene Cockburn
- Marisol Nichols as Heather Sappington
- Mark Deklin
- Miriam Shor
- Lauren Irion
- Colton Shires
- Tom Everett Scott
Amanda meets up with Gigi, Will and Laura on their way into Sunday's church service. Gigi is horrified that Amanda is wearing slacks to church (in Dallas, this is a capital offense). Carlene and Ripp approach the church, determined to figure a way to coax Bill's whereabouts out of Amanda Vaughn. A Bentley pulls up with Burl Lourd in it, Carlene's uncle -- and Gigi's first love. He is freshly home from his mission trip. Unfortunately, he has brought back Gigi's "frenemy," evil wife Bitsy Lourd. Being the wonderful hostess she is, Gigi decides she'll throw Burl and Bitsy a huge homecoming party.
At Coffee Hour, Heather and new beaux Andrew Remington are talking about his problem with finding land in Dallas for his huge office park. A good location just popped up in Alabama, and he might have to pursue it. Heather insists on helping him find a property in Dallas -- she's a real estate agent, after all. Meanwhile, Blake approaches Amanda; he needs her stylishly laid-back opinion about the rebranding of Cricket Caruth Industries denim line Westward Ho! -- They booked a big sale with mega-store Armadillo Mart. Amanda looks at the new jeans: Yikes! It's all crazy stitching and wild colors. Design-savvy Amanda starts to offer her opinion and ideas, and Blake loves what he's hearing. Would she like to help him out on this jean issue? Amanda jumps at the chance. Just one problem, Cricket doesn't love her. Blake says he'll handle Cricket...
A frazzled Sharon and Zack run over to Pastor Tudor and publicly air their marital issues. The Pastor politely pulls the Peachams aside and suggests an in-house separation. For two days they will be a couple in public, but at home they will be separated (sharing "custody" of McKinney). Sharon won't cook or do anything domestic for Zack, but she'll have to find something to do during the day other than being a housewife (and to better appreciate what her husband does). The Pastor can provide her with a job at the Church. At the end of the two days hopefully they will truly appreciate what they do for each other.
The next morning, Amanda comes down the stairs with a pile of Gigi's old Westward Ho! jeans -- she'll use them for research with Blake. Gigi is having Burl and Bitsy over for party food taste testing and could really use Amanda there as a buffer. But Amanda declines just as the doorbell rings. It's Carlene, who tries to butter up to Amanda with the gift of a pedicure. As Burl and Bitsy enter behind Carlene, Amanda makes a mad dash out of there...
At Cricket Caruth Industries, Amanda gives a presentation to Cricket and Blake. She's lined up all of her mom's old jeans. Amanda points out that the original design was always clean, simple and classic. And even if they're going to modernize it, they shouldn't change it. Cricket is skeptical. They just spent a lot of money on a fancy designer for a splashy re-do. Amanda continues to plead her case, and to her surprise, Cricket says she loves it and tells Blake they should get working on it right away. In order to make their manufacturing deadlines, they will have to move quickly. Blake says he'll take care of mocking up ten pairs of the new jeans, per Amanda's specs and they'll need a "look book" for the buyers. Being that jeans are "butt specific" Amanda calls the girls from Boobylicious to see if they're available for the photo shoot.
Back at Gigi's, Carlene, Heather, Burl and Bitsy sample various foods for the party. Bitsy tastes the food but doesn't like anything. Burl pulls Carlene aside, wanting to sell the land he and Carlene own. But Carlene wants the land for her own real-estate development, "Condos for Christian Living." Burl tells Carlene he wants to sell it so she'll have to buy him out. The large land opportunity has Heather's wheels turning. Carlene spills sauce on herself so she can excuse herself from the group and start snooping around about Bill...
Sharon comes home after a hard day at the church (she tried and failed to build an assemble-it-yourself shelving unit for the Pastor) to find a smug Zack and McKinney laughing it up, enjoying a store-bought microwavable pizza. Zack thinks he might have figured out Sharon's problem -- she makes her life harder than it needs to be. She's totally been wasting her time making home-cooked meals! Sharon heads upstairs, feeling like a failure...
At the Boobylicious photo shoot, Amanda and the Boobylicious girls model the brand new Westward Ho! Jeans. Amanda notices a hunky guy flirting with Blake. Blake tries to cover but Amanda says that she's his friend and would never judge him about anything.
Later at Gigi's, Burl admits to Gigi why he's returned to Dallas: he has a heart condition. Gigi fights tears but brushes it off. Since Burl's back in Dallas permanently, it's very important to him that the two ladies he loves most in the world -- Bitsy and Gigi -- get along. So, could Gigi maybe help make that happen?
In bed, Cricket and Blake talk about the photo shoot. Blake mentions that maybe he and his wife could trust Amanda about their "real relationship." Cricket cuts him off, politely scolding: It's their secret -- not just his. If it ever got out it would mean the end of their marriage.
The next day, Amanda arrives at Cricket Caruth Industries to find it transformed into a war room, full of lawyers and PR people. The pictures from the look book got leaked to some Christian blogs and websites, and there's suddenly a huge online uproar. The online Christian community doesn't like the modern double meaning of "Westward Ho!" -- especially when coupled with the suggestive pictures from Amanda's photo shoot. Cricket shows a few shots -- one of Amanda's backside in the denim, in particular, is pretty saucy. Amanda feels terrible and tries to apologize to Cricket -- but, in a surprise, Cricket insists Amanda has nothing to apologize for. Amanda's on her team, and she fights for her team. Amanda is touched -- Cricket sticking her neck out for her only makes her more determined to help. Amanda gets an idea -- this all started with a single blog post, right? If she can track down this blogger lordlover87 and win him over to their side, maybe she can end this controversy. Amanda calls tech-geek Andrew Remington to see if he can find out the true identity of blogger lordlover87.
Gigi has invited Bitsy, Burl, Heather and Carlene to her house to try on costumes for the upcoming "Come as Your Favorite Texan" party. Heather casually approaches Burl and tells him she has an all-cash buyer, Andrew Remington, willing to pay double for his land. Burl tells Heather that Carlene wants the land for her Christian condos but she informs him that it's illegal to have a community just for Christians and a lawsuit would be bound to happen. Later, Burl finds a teary-eyed Gigi in the backyard, upset over the news of his heart condition. Burl wipes her tears away and gives Gigi a reassuring kiss on the cheek. An angry Bitsy, unbeknownst to Gigi and Burl, witnesses this exchange.
Carlene returns home from Gigi's "borrowing" Amanda's laptop for any information she may have about Bill Vaughn or Ripp's stolen money. Unfortunately, that's not the only laptop turned on at the Cockburns: Carlene's son Landry is "enjoying" a picture of Amanda in the Westward Ho! Jeans! Landry quickly covers himself -- humiliated. Same goes for Carlene!
Amanda, Cricket and Blake are in an emergency strategy meeting to deal with the Westward Ho! Jeans fallout. The buyers at Armadillo Mart are not happy about the photo controversy, and they're pulling the plug on the deal. Cricket gets a tongue-lashing from her father Daddybo, making Amanda feel completely responsible. Amanda has an idea: change the name to Westward Hosanna!, and all the issues of the name will go away. Looks like Amanda has saved the day...
Ripp asks Carlene what happened with Amanda's computer. Carlene tells him that she snuck the computer back into Gigi's house without copying it. See, she had a very clear sign from God telling her that He looks down on snooping in other people's business. Ripp is furious that Carlene didn't do what he asked, but Carlene tells him there's only one man who comes before her husband: Jesus Christ.
Sharon, dressed as Anna Nicole Smith, comes into the kitchen to find it completely trashed. Zack failed when trying to cook for McKinney (who was getting zits from the microwave pizza). This whole exercise has really gotten to him -- he never wants to be without her again. Sharon is touched, loves feeling needed. Zack apologizes for blaming Sharon's hyperbolic domesticity for their problems. In fact, he's already looking forward to a home-cooked breakfast. Zack doesn't want the exercise to be over so that he and Sharon can go back to the way things were. This doesn't sit right with Sharon. Keeping up a cheerful facade, she sends him to the party -- she'll meet up with him soon...
Over at Gigi's Come as Your Favorite Texan party, Heather (as Selena) and Andrew (as Howard Hughes) shake hands with Burl; the real estate deal is done. Realizing that Heather engineered the whole land deal, Carlene is furious. She tells Heather off, in a biting, passive-aggressive way. Meanwhile, Andrew decoded the blogger's identity and gives Amanda the "unlisted" phone number. As Amanda dials, she notices Cricket pull out her cell phone and answer. Cricket is lordlover87 and started the whole Westward Ho! Jeans controversy in the first place! Later, Carlene approaches her. Carlene is reeling as well, from her problems with her son Landry. Carlene finds herself asking Amanda for parenting advice. She wants to know what Amanda would do if she caught her son... sinning... by himself. She admits that it's the kind of issue she would have brought to Bill. Amanda tells Carlene about Bill's funeral and that it was open casket, erasing the possibility that Bill may still be alive.
Meanwhile, Bitsy approaches Gigi and tells her to say goodbye to Burl for good: they are going back on the missionary trip! Burl's health is bad -- shouldn't he stay in the town he loves and live out what time he has left happily? Bitsy reveals that she's always been jealous of how Burl is with Gigi and she's keeping Gigi away from her man forever.
Amanda and Gigi watch Blake and Cricket across the party. Amanda asks if she should tell her friend Blake that his wife is psychotic. Amanda explains what she discovered -- that Cricket basically sabotaged her own brand. Why would someone do something like that? An astute Gigi has a theory. Perhaps Cricket risked her company in an attempt to get Amanda away from her husband. Amanda delicately explains that Cricket and Blake's marriage isn't exactly a "traditional" arrangement. It's not like she and Blake would ever have a physical affair. Gigi had always wondered if Blake and Cricket had a "white marriage." Amanda is surprised. There's a term for what Blake and Cricket have? Gigi nods. Says it's much more common than you think. Blake and Cricket are co-parents, co-workers, and best friends. And a new friend, a new co-worker Amanda coming into the picture must have felt like an affair to Cricket. Amanda is stunned; suddenly realizing how Cricket could feel like her friendship with Blake threatened the foundation of her (admittedly unusual) marriage. Amanda, whose own husband cheated on her, feels a sudden sympathy for Cricket.
Zack, dressed as J. Howard Marshall, turns around to see his wife -- but he's surprised. She's not dressed as Anna Nicole anymore. Sharon explains that she decided to change and come as cosmetics giant Mary Kay -- a strong, independent Texas woman. She's only just begun to discover what she can do by herself. And that's why she's going continue working at the Church.
Amanda approaches Cricket and Blake. Blake reports that the brand is back -- thanks to her idea. And if she wants to talk about something permanent... Amanda stops him. Thanks them both for the opportunity -- but she's afraid she's not going to be able to stay with them at the company. Cricket feigns being upset, while Blake is genuinely so.
Cricket suggests they hit the buffet table, where she and Blake discover evil Bitsy Lourd on the floor - she's bit the big one, choking to death on some ribs.