The 'American Horror Story: Hotel' actress says she needed to take a break from pop after her 2013 album because she's 'going to die.'
- Dec 4, 2015
AceShowbiz - Lady GaGa graces the front page of Billboard's latest issue as Woman of the Year and discusses her 2013 album "Artpop". She is aware that the album failed to match the success of her previous record and credits Tony Bennett and Elton John for standing by her.
"He taught me to stay true to who I am, to not let anybody exploit me. He is responsible in so many ways for making me happy, and I can say the same for Elton. When the whole industry turned their back on me during Artpop, they were the ones who said, 'Hey, this is a blip. It's going to go away.' "
The Mother Monster also opens up on having writers block and steering clear of piano. "I couldn't write for two f***ing years," she revealed in her cover story for the music bible. "For Artpop, I was doing beats instead. I didn't want to be near that damn [piano]. It was too emotional."
"I would start to play and sing, and my mind would go, 'You are way too talented for this sh*t. F***, your voice sounds good. F***, that's a beautiful chord. F***, that's an amazing lyric. Why are you letting these people run you into the ground? When did you become the fashionable robot?' "
The "American Horror Story: Hotel" actress went on, "Can't being an artist be enough? Is talent ever the thing? I think for Adeleit is. I think for Bruno Mars it is. But that's what I learned from working with Tony: If talent isn't the thing, then you are way off-base."
This seemingly led her to think that she needed to take a break from pop in 2014. She said, "My stylist asked, 'Do you even want to be a pop star anymore?' I looked at him and I go, 'You know, if I could just stop this train right now, today, I would. I just can't. [But] I need to get off now because I'm going to die.' "
She continued, "When you're going so fast you don't feel safe anymore, you feel like you're being slapped around and you can't think straight. But then I felt hands lifting me. It was like everybody came together to try and put a star back in the sky, and they weren't going to let me down."
GaGa and Bennett later released "Cheek to Cheek" and together they brought jazz to a larger audience. She felt accepted and happy to get on the ride. "On tour, I had people give me war medals and memorabilia just to thank me for exposing a younger generation to Tony Bennett because he changed their lives in such significant ways," she said. "I want to be a part of curating a culture where we don't give credence to anyone who is rude or crass or not good for the world."
After finding her place in jazz, the eccentric star branched out into acting and worked with Ryan Murphy for "AHS". She explained, "I'm not the type of girl who fits most molds. That's why working on American Horror Story with Ryan is a destiny. I wanted to create something extremely meaningful by exploring the art of darkness."
"The reason I love watching horror films, mysteries and documentaries about crime is that it somehow numbs me from the pain I experience in my own life. You are watching something worse than whatever you think you're going through. The terror of that suspends you, and you are able to forget about your own pain for a moment. It's like a safe, psychological form of masochism."
