AceShowbiz - Melissa Rivers has spoken openly about the trauma she and her mother, the late comedian Joan Rivers, faced when Melissa's father, Edgar Rosenberg, died by suicide in 1987.

In a conversation with PEOPLE, Melissa explained that the family's grief was unspeakable and tore apart her relationship with her mother. "Suicide is very complicated for the people who survive it," she said. "It was very painful. It was very hard."

Melissa and Joan eventually realized the need for each other's support. "It took therapy. It took time," Melissa said. They repaired their relationship after Melissa called Joan for help in the midst of an abusive relationship.

Once they were on speaking terms again, Melissa and Joan channeled their sorrow into bringing suicide awareness to light. "We really threw ourselves into lending our name to suicide prevention," Melissa said. "We're talking 1987 when people thought it was still shameful or thought that it ran in families."

Melissa emphasized that she prefers not to sugarcoat suicide. "I'm honest about it: It sucks," she said. "It's going to suck for a while, and you're going to get through it."

After her father's death, Joan left Los Angeles and moved to New York City, where she felt more at home. She had made a pact with Edgar that if one of them died, the other would return to New York.

Melissa also recalled the anger she felt towards her father and mother in the aftermath of her father's suicide. She placed some of the blame on Joan because they had recently separated.

Despite the pain, Melissa has learned to let go and channel her emotions into helping others. "It's so interesting that something that could have destroyed my life has become something now to do something really good that I care about," she said. "I'm proud that I'm a survivor."