Christopher Eccleston Came Close to Kill Himself Amid Battle With Anorexia and Anxiety
WENN/Lia Toby

Finally opening up about his 'filthy secret,' the former 'Doctor Who' star admits that it is difficult for him to watch himself play the iconic Time Lord due to his mental illness.

AceShowbiz - Christopher Eccleston was almost driven to suicide by his battle with anorexia and anxiety.

Th former "Doctor Who" star reveals he battled the eating disorder while starring in the iconic BBC science-fiction series in 2005 in his new autobiography, "I Love the Bones of You", according to Britain's Mail on Sunday newspaper.

"Many times I've wanted to reveal that I'm a lifelong anorexic and dysmorphic," the 55-year-old actor writes. "I never have. I always thought of it as a filthy secret, because I'm Northern, because I'm male and because I'm working-class."

Explaining how watching himself play the iconic Time Lord, a role he shocked fans by quitting after just one series, is difficult, he adds: "The illness is still there raging within me as the Doctor. People love the way I look in that series, but I was very ill. The reward for that illness was the part. And therein lies the perpetuation of the whole sorry situation."

After the breakdown of his marriage to Mischka in late 2015, the star threw himself into filming BBC drama "The A Word", but was diagnosed with severe depression and admitted himself to a psychiatric hospital after contemplating suicide.

"I was in a state of extreme anxiety, convinced I was either going to die or I was going to kill myself. In my despair I reached for my phone and looked up a psychiatric hospital, I rang ahead, grabbed my bag and ran," he explains. "I was 100 per cent sure I was in the last few weeks of my life."

The "Thor: The Dark World" actor now believes he will now be on anti-depressants for "the rest of his days" - but aims to reduce his dose over time.

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