AceShowbiz - Travis Barker gets candid about his past in a revealing interview with Billboard to promote his memoir "Can I Say". The Blink-182 drummer opens up about drug abuse, suicidal thoughts, and post-traumatic stress following a near-fatal plane crash in 2008.
The 39-year-old father of two recalled his dark days in 2004, "I was so addicted to Oxycodone, and I had a security that would actually sleep during the day and then stay up at night to make sure I was breathing. That was pretty pathetic."
"I had this moment when I got to Europe for that tour where I really identified myself as a dumpster. And I wasn't proud. I was scared. I had to call [Blink-182 member] Mark [Hoppus] and say, 'Hey, man. I'm like borderline suicidal. I'm going crazy. I need to go home,' " he added.
Barker also talked about his struggle with survivor's guilt after the plane accident. "I was on all these crazy crazy bipolar drugs too cause I was suicidal in the hospital, masking everything from the pain of thinking, 'Are my friends dead? Do you have to amputate my foot?' I was completely done," he remembered.
He credited his children for helping him get through the depression. "They were all I hung out with, especially afterwards. I was a little cuckoo for a minute too. I didn't leave the house. I was afraid if I left the house something would fall out of the sky and hit me. I was just waiting for some ill sh*t to happen all the time. So I just wanted to stay cooped up in the house with them until I got to my healthy state," he said.
The drummer also said he and Adam "DJ AM" Goldstein, the only other survivor, became each other's support system. So when DJ AM was found dead from a suspected drug overdose, he was devastated. "He was my best friend. It was beyond friendship," he said. "And then losing him and just wondering, 'F*ck, is there something I could have done?' It was like the one thing that will never stop resurfacing in my head."
Now Travis Barker who is currently dating Rita Ora is in a better place. "I'm not on any medications. I haven't seen a post-traumatic doctor in six years. I get so much love and happiness out of playing music and playing the drums and my kids. There's nothing better. I couldn't ask for more," he explained.