The 'Withnail and I' actor admits that he has a really hard time accepting that his spouse Joan Washington is gone, nearly two years after she passed away.
- Jul 21, 2023
AceShowbiz - Richard E. Grant still refuses to accept that his late wife is "not here." The Oscar-winning "Withnail and I" actor, 66, revealed on Thursday, July 20 night his mum Leonne Esterhuysen had died aged of 93 and, before the announcement, told fans in a tearful online video he was still struggling with the idea of his partner Joan Washington's passing.
In an Instagram clip posted earlier this week, he said about struggling with his grief over dialect coach Joan's death in September 2021 aged 74, "It's my late wife's posthumous birthday today and I have been scrolling through all our photographs of our 38 years together."
"You look and look and look and still try and look and the time is fixed and you read into things. The last eight months of her life as she so determinately put on a brave face, it's just so heart breaking. The wonderful trick of memory is, is that I remember her now in the prime of her life and I'm still in denial that she is not here."
Richard added the caption to his video, "In denial even though I know what I know." He also said alongside a photo of Joan he posted, "Taken on her last ever birthday, 21st December, my beloved late wife Joan. Her bravery, fortitude, resistance and acceptance of her diagnosis, are an inexhaustible inspiration. I miss her more than is measurable."
Richard's memoir "A Pocketful of Happiness" is titled after his wife's last challenge to him to find a "pocketful of happiness" in every day.
The actor told fans in a video posted to his Twitter feed about the passing of his mum they had an "incredibly complicated relationship" - and recalled getting a "very terse" email from her when he was mourning the passing of his late wife.
He said, "I saw that I had eight missed calls from Africa and knew immediately why, which proved to be that my 93-year-old mother died this morning. We had an incredibly complicated relationship, and she'll be somebody that was, for me anyway, emotionally withdrawn, and withheld her approbation or approval of anything, so nothing was quite good enough."
"What that proved to be is a great motor for ambition and determination to try and prove yourself, and be the best that you possibly can, and yet, ironically, whatever she did, she demanded and got applause and approval from everybody around her, including me."
"I went to stay with her for a couple of weeks, six weeks after my wife had died, with Covid restrictions being lifted, and she sent me a very terse email at the end of the trip, saying, 'I regret to say all of this was an absolute disaster. We only have two things in common, books and classical music.' "
"So whereas she was very physically untactile, I've gone the opposite extreme, so I've been a very tactile, loving father and husband, I suppose in response to that. Do I feel sadness that she has died? I feel resignation more than anything, but most of all gratitude, for having given me life."
Richard has spoken about being estranged from his mother after discovering her cheating on his father. The teetotal actor also revealed his dad started drinking after their divorce, and once tried to kill him after he poured away his alcohol.
