November 19, 2009 03:33:09 GMT
Though so, Adam says the environment has forced him to become one that he can do nothing other than accepting it.
Though having no regret about confirming his sexuality to Rolling Stone magazine back in June, Adam Lambert tells USA Today in an interview, "I don't want to be a gay poster child." Yet, he at the same time realizes that he has become one "by default, because there aren't that many." Responding to that, he says "Like it or not, it's projected on me. I'm not saying, 'Do what I do.' I say, 'Do what you do'."
Besides, the openly gay singer also confesses he actually was unprepared for the scrutiny that people address to him ever since he came out of the closet, and living under the spotlight adds burden on his shoulders. "Being in L.A. around young Hollywood for the past eight years desensitized me to the whole machine," muses the "American Idol" star. "If this were brand new, I'd be overwhelmed. At 27, I've already done a lot of self-searching to learn who I am. Had this happened five years ago, I might not have handled it well. I didn't have a strong sense of self."
Adam goes on recalling, "I never wore full-on eyeliner in high school, but I wanted to. I wanted to wear nail polish so bad, but I was afraid to. I was afraid to express myself for a while. I didn't feel attractive in high school. I had self-esteem issues into my early 20s. I was a little overweight, I had skin problems. As I learned to feel attractive from the inside out, my self-worth got better."
And at last, the 27-year-old music performer tells USA Today, "People who can't appreciate an entertainer because of his sexual preference are ignorant, so I don't care." When it comes to find a new love after splitting from Drake LaBry, Adam says, "My life has changed so much, I'm not sure what my needs are anymore. At the moment, it's probably difficult to have a relationship. I'm going to be doing a lot of growing in the next couple years. I've only been in two relationships, and really, really in love just one time. That's one part of my life I'm learning about - my heart."