AceShowbiz - Maria Shriver, 69, is opening up about the agonizing end of her marriage to Arnold Schwarzenegger, 77, in her new poetry book, "I Am Maria." The couple's split came after Schwarzenegger confessed to fathering a child with their former housekeeper, a revelation that devastated Shriver and her family.

The ensuing separation, coupled with the recent loss of both her parents, plunged Shriver into a deep emotional crisis.

In 2011, Schwarzenegger admitted his 1996 affair with Mildred Baena, which resulted in the birth of their son, Joseph Baena. Shriver was unaware of Joseph's paternity until Schwarzenegger's confession during a marriage counseling session.

The revelation came at a time when Shriver was already grappling with significant personal and professional losses, including her role as First Lady of California and the deaths of her parents.

"All hell seemed to break loose," Shriver writes in an excerpt from her book. "My First Lady job came to an end. My father died. And then came another devastating, life-altering blow: my twenty-five-year-long marriage blew up. It broke my heart, it broke my spirit, it broke what was left of me."

The heartbreak left Shriver "consumed with grief" and questioning her identity. "I was unsure now of who I was, where I belonged. Honestly, it was brutal, and I was terrified," she wrote. Despite these overwhelming feelings, Shriver found solace in her children, who displayed "grace, valor, and courage" amidst their world's upheaval.

Shriver's journey to healing was extensive and included seeking help from therapists, healers, shamans, and even a cloistered convent. At the convent, a poignant encounter with a nun helped Shriver realize that she needed to focus on her own identity. "I think what you're really looking for, my child, is permission to leave your marriage, to be Maria," the nun told her.

Writing became a vital part of Shriver's recovery process. Through poetry, she explored and confronted her deep-seated fears and grief. She discovered that tying her self-worth to achievements and relying on others for validation were misguided beliefs. "I've learned that nothing could be further from the truth," she wrote.

Following the profound pain caused by the affair, Schwarzenegger expressed regret over his actions, stating, "I have caused enough pain for my family because of my f**k-up."

The former couple, who finalized their divorce in 2021, have managed to co-parent their children effectively. "My chapter with Maria will continue on forever," Schwarzenegger remarked, emphasizing the enduring bond they share.

Shriver's "I Am Maria" not only chronicles her emotional journey but also serves as an inspirational guide for those facing their own trials. The book is set to be published on April 1, 2025, offering readers a deep and personal reflection on resilience and self-discovery.