AceShowbiz - Tom Sandoval has had rough times after his affair with Raquel Leviss came to light. The "Vanderpump Rules" star, who cheated with Raquel when he was dating Ariana Madix, admitted that he was "very close" to committing suicide due to backlash over the scandal.
The 40-year-old made the confession in the first episode of his new podcast, "Everybody Loves Tom", which was published on Thursday, September 28. "It was really crazy living like a fugitive. The feeling of being wanted for a triple homicide," he shared. "Not being able to go anywhere, being followed, being harassed, just relentlessly... Anything I did... if I was pictured with any girl, it's like we're having sex."
"I feel like in this past six months or so, the narrative of my life has been sort of written by everyone else," he continued explaining. "I would really just like to clear some things up, talk about some things that I've learned throughout this whole experience, steps that I've taken to really sort of better myself and try to use this whole situation as a positive in some way."
Tom went on to note that there was a period of time when he "didn't shower or change my clothes for almost a week. I was so gross...I did get really dark." He then elaborated, "When you get into that headspace, it's like a domino effect. Your world starts collapsing on itself and you cannot see outside of your feelings.
"Your peripheral goes away. Your sense of like thinking about future, your ability to snap out of it goes away," the Bravo personality further detailed. "There were some times where I felt very, very close."
Before finishing off the episode, Tom once again issued an "apology" for his actions. "It has been such a learning experience, going through everything I did and taking time to actually see the repercussions of my actions," he said. "You're so emotionally wrapped up in your feelings, you don't think logically and you're just f**king selfish. It's like a drug addict sort of behavior."
"I was just so unhappy in my life. I wasn't happy in the direction I was going. I felt trapped and I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't know how to handle it. So I rebelled in the worst way possible," the musician added. "It was the opposite of what I wanted to do, but I ended up doing it inevitably and that sucks. I'm sorry for all the people that I hurt in that process."