AceShowbiz - Madison Beer was left in a "dark place" after being dropped by her record label. The 23-year-old star was dumped by her label at the age of 16 and she's recalled feeling "so suicidal" after receiving the news.
"To be totally transparent … I was so suicidal. Every single inconvenience in my life, my first thought was suicide, truly. I was at such a dark place in my life that I was so hopeless. I felt such a failure. I felt embarrassed. I felt like no one liked me," Madison shared during an appearance on the "Reign with Josh Smith" podcast.
"There were so many components, I truly just wanted out. And I remember it was probably not until 2018, 2019 and I was like 19 years old - 19 was probably one of the worst years of my life - but when I was 19 it all caught up to me finally."
"From getting dropped at 16 and getting signed at 12 and mourning the loss of those primitive years and so many other things that happened behind the scenes caught up with me. And that's when I was feeling these ways of I don't wanna be here anymore."
Madison "couldn't understand" why she'd been dropped by her label. But the brunette beauty even took to starving herself as she tried to come to terms with her disappointment. The "Home with You" hitmaker said, "I couldn't understand why my label dropped me and why people who promised to be in my life forever, never spoke to me again."
"It was really difficult and that manifested itself in a lot of anger which then led me to hating myself. It led me to starving myself. There were so many layers of just self-hatred that came out, I was so deeply insecure and it's so crazy cause I'm so different now and I'm so grateful."
"But it was a choice and it's also not a linear choice. Nothing in the healing world is and I think that it's still a journey that I'm on to this day. I obviously still have my dark moments, my dark days, my episodes, whatever it is. I do have a decent amount of PTSD and trauma that I'm still working through."