AceShowbiz - Katie Price struggled with "suicidal" thoughts a few years ago. The 44-year-old former glamour model told of how she fell into a "severe depression" and what she calls the "demon" inside her came close to overcoming her and made her consider taking her own life.
"I hit a severe depression a couple of years ago, depression on top of PTSD. I was suicidal, I didn't want to be here," she said. "When I'm having a down moment [the demon] comes out. But I've got to keep it at bay because it knows. It got me one time when I was weak and it can always be there, it's controlling it."
Katie credits her children Harvey, 20, Junior, 17, Princess, 15, Jett, nine, and Bunny, eight, for keeping her alive. She said, "All I saw was the kids' faces and I never want that to happen again."
The occasional "Loose Women" panelist has seen her relationship with her two youngest children's father, her ex-husband Kieran Hayler, completely break down in recent months and she is finding it hard having "limited access" to their kids.
According to Britain's OK! magazine, she says in new documentary "Katie Price, Trauma and Me", "The hardest thing I've had to deal with in the recent months is having limited access to some of my kids. Recent events have meant I'm seeing my youngest children less and the relationship between me and their father has broken down."
"It's not good for my mental health and it's certainly not good for their mental health. They should be having their mum in their life. At the moment I'm stuck in this rut with Jett and Bunny and it is frustrating for me."
"You know, seven months, how has it even got to this? It's heartbreaking and I just wish it wasn't like this. All I can do is hope that this won't be forever."
Katie finds it particularly difficult when she sees Kieran's fiancee Michelle Penticost - who has a restraining order against the reality TV star - "playing happy families" with her children on social media.
Showing viewers a photo of Michelle and Bunny in matching outfits, she said, "Michelle's posed with Bunny in a matching outfit. When your head's all like this and they're playing happy families with my kid, that's enough for a mother to go through, let alone everything else I'm trying to go through."