AceShowbiz - James Van Der Beek talked about the two pregnancy losses suffered by him and his wife. Losing two babies in less than three years, the former "Dawson's Creek" star and his spouse Kimberly - who have children Olivia, 11, Joshua, 10, Annabel, eight, Emilia, six, three-year-old Gwendolyn and 10-month-old Jeremiah together - shared how they started to heal.
"We had just lost a baby 18 weeks into pregnancy and almost lost @vanderkimberly in the process. I had a collaboration going south, rapidly. And I'd just been booted off a reality dancing competition I'd been favored to win. (I feel like three out of those four are fairly relatable)," he wrote on Instagram.
"So, last minute, we rented an #RV, and headed north. No real plan, just day-to-day. Late one night we pulled into a quaint little RV park I'd booked a few hours earlier, and woke up next to this river. And thus began the process - not necessarily of healing - but of being present. Present to the pain. Present to the beauty around us. And present to the acceptance of being in a process I did not understand."
"2 ½ years later, after another late-term pregnancy loss, after that project blew up completely, after we moved to a new state and got our own RV… we came back to that same spot. With a brand new baby boy. Reflecting back on that first trip, I'm astounded by how much I didn't know about the path to where I am now… and by how much peace I was able to feel in the midst of that darkness."
"Whatever you're going through… if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, or even know where to look for it… I invite you to not underestimate the power of a little change of environment… and of taking the time to sit exactly where you're at. Healing comes at its own pace. Presence might just be a pre-requisite."
James, 45, previously revealed he and his spouse were not trying for a baby when they conceived Jeremiah and are counting their blessings for the surprise. He wrote on Instagram, "Thank god for the surprises. For the detours. For those times the universe heard my plans and said: 'Yeah, that's cute… try THIS.' "
"We weren't trying for more kids. We were done. But fortunately, this chunky little angel knew better. And when I hold him, I'm reminded of the benevolent forces out there likely laughing at my agenda and waiting for me to toss my 'clarity' for an upgraded reality. Thank god for surprises… and thank god we SUCK at not getting pregnant."