AceShowbiz - Amber Portwood has unveiled jaw-dropping details about her life. In a newly-released memoir, the former "Teen Mom" star revealed that she had two secret pregnancies and a "devastating" abortion.
On Tuesday, February 22, the 31-year-old reality star released her new tell-all book about her life experiences titled "So, You're Crazy Too?". In the book, she unveiled that she was hiding a secret pregnancy and abortion from the MTV cameras in 2010 around the time she was arrested for assaulting her ex, Gary Shirley.
However, Amber noted that Gary was not the father. "When my ex [Gary] and I had broken up for a while because the fighting was so bad, I was hanging out with a heroin addict and I accidentally got pregnant," the former "16 and Pregnant" star wrote.
Amber went on to tell that she knew she couldn't care for another child and she was initially hesitant about going through with an abortion. "Not being able to handle something and having to terminate a life were worlds apart for me," she shared. "I finally had an abortion, however it was devastating to me. Again, I do not know why I made the decisions I made during this time in my life."
"I was on drugs and I didn't know what I was doing half the time," Amber continued. She further admitted that she "had nightmares about abandoning [her] unborn child." She also pointed out that she "cried uncontrollably for weeks afterward" and she "didn't sleep and [she] lost a lot of weight."
Amber went on to say that she heard that the heroin addict who knocked her up had passed away recently. "This news made me cry even though I had not seen or talked to him in years," she shared. "I knew he was an addict and not long for this earth, but we conceived a child together so I always felt a connection with him."
Elsewhere in the book, Amber detailed that she got pregnant again by another guy she dated after she was released from jail in December 2013. However, her pregnancy ended in miscarriage.
"When I miscarried after falling pregnant by a boy I dated for a few months right after prison, it shook me, even though I had no business having a baby with anyone else at that time in my life," Amber penned. She also noted that she still remembers "trying to fish the thing out of [her] toilet for a long time."
"I wanted to bury it and mourn its loss but I couldn't get to it," Amber confessed. "It's was one of those moments in my life that I replay in my head over and over: me sobbing and trying to fish something out of a toilet for some inexplicable reason. I swear death just follows me around."