AceShowbiz - This year's holiday season isn't merry and bright for Kelly Clarkson. In her new NBC special, "Kelly Clarkson Presents: When Christmas Comes Around", the singer got candid with her viewers about feeling alone during the holidays.
"The holidays come with a whole range of emotions. I'm gonna be real with y'all, when I wrote this next song, I was crying my face off, which happens even at Christmastime, everyone," the "American Idol" alum shared. "I had just put my kids to bed and I was just going through it, having a really hard time, and it's been a really tough year for a lot of us."
"And I wrote this song for me, but also because there aren't many holiday songs for people feeling alone or lost or just plain sad other than Dolly Parton's classic 'Hard Candy Christmas', which we all love," said the "Because of You" singer, adding that the song is "about getting through a tough holiday."
In addition to an emotional performance of "Merry Christmas (to the One I Used to Know)", "The Kelly Clarkson Show" host performed "Christmas Isn't Canceled," a breakup song which she released back in September.
"I was honestly a little nervous about sharing this one because it's not your typical Christmas single," "The Voice" coach explained. "But it was the first song that I wrote for this album and I wrote it because a lot of things were taken from us over the last couple of years: people, relationships, jobs, etc."
She continued, "But instead of looking at everything that's gone wrong, we should be looking at all the things that have gone right. And that's what my therapist tells me anyway, so that's who I'm singing to! But no matter what people try to take from you, nobody can cancel Christmas, y'all."
This wasn't the first time for Kelly to open up about how "horrible" things have been amid her divorce from husband Brandon Blackstock, with whom she shares two kids, River (7) and Remington (5).
"There are so many hard parts and the hardest for me is the kids," she detailed on her talk show back in December. "That's the hardest part for me. You know, I always think as women, especially we're trained...to take it all on and you can deal with it and you're fine. But it's your babies that you worry about."
Later in March, the singer shared, "I'm actually in that place where I think a lot of people, I've heard, that go through a divorce, it's almost like you start dating yourself again. You actually make time for you again, and I love dating me. I'm actually not looking for it."