In an essay for Time, the 'American Horror Story: 1984' star admits she used to dislike her mother's 'Star Wars' role and wouldn't watch the movie until the end until she was 9 years old.

• Nov 8, 2019

AceShowbiz - Billie Lourd may have proudly shared screen with her mother in "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" and "Star Wars: The Last Jedi", but she wasn't a fan of the franchise growing up. In fact, the 27-year-old actress used to despise Carrie Fisher's role Princess Leia, because she felt that the role took her mom away.

"I grew up with three parents: a mom, a dad and Princess Leia. I guess Princess Leia was kind of like my stepmom-technically family, but deep down I didn't really like her," she wrote in an essay published on Time. "She literally and metaphorically lived on a planet I had never been to. When Leia was around, there wasn't as much room for my mom-for Carrie."

Billie revealed she disliked the character so much that she didn't want to be associated with the movie in any way. "As a child, I couldn't understand why people loved Leia as much as they did. I didn't want to watch her movie, I didn't want to dress up like her, I didn't even want to talk about her. I just wanted my mom-the one who lived on Earth, not Tatooine," she admitted.

The "Scream Queens" alum said she only watched "Star Wars" when she was 6 years old, but never finished watching the whole movie until she "was 9 or 10." She shared, "My mom used to love to tell people that every time she tried to put it on, I would cover my ears and yell, 'It's too loud, Mommy! Turn it off!'-or fearfully question, 'Is that lady in the TV you?' "

"It wasn't until middle school that I finally decided to watch it of my own accord-not because I suddenly developed a keen interest in '70s sci-fi, but because boys started coming up to me and saying they fantasized about my mom," she explained her confusion about her friends' fascination at her mother's character. "My mom?"

After watching the whole movie one day, Billie said she "realized no one is, or ever will be, as hot or as cool as Princess F**king Leia." She also recalled coming to Comic-Con with her late mother and saw people expressing their love for Princess Leia by dressing up as the character. "Watching the amount of joy it brought to people when she hugged them or threw glitter in their faces was incredible to witness," she recounted. "And it was magical."

She went on sharing, "I realized then that Leia is more than just a character. She's a feeling. She is strength. She is grace. She is wit. She is femininity at its finest. She knows what she wants, and she gets it. She doesn't need anyone to defend her, because she defends herself. And no one could have played her like my mother. Princess Leia is Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher is Princess Leia. The two go hand in hand."

When she landed her role as Lieutenant Connix in 2015's "The Force Awakens", Carrie insisted her daughter wear "Leia buns" like her character's in the early days of "Star Wars". Billie saw it as a way of carrying on her late mother's legacy, saying, "Some people carry on their family name, some people carry on holiday traditions - I was going to carry on the family hairstyle."

Billie reprises the role in "Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker" which is due out December 20 in the United States. Her mother will also appear through the use of eight-minute unreleased footage from "The Force Awakens" and "The Last Jedi".