Kristen Stewart Talks Rupert Sanders Affair: 'I Lit My Universe on Fire and I Watched It Burn'

The former 'Twilight' actress describes her early 20s during which she faced media scrutiny after caught on camera getting cozy with the 'Snow White and the Huntsman' director as 'a really traumatic period.'

AceShowbiz - Kristen Stewart candidly talks about her affair with "Snow White and the Huntsman" helmer Rupert Sanders. Without specifically mentioning the 2012 scandal which led to her breakup with Robert Pattinson, she discusses her early 20s during which she was scrutinized after spotted cozying up to the then-married director.

"I lit my universe on fire," the 25-year-old actress says, "and I watched it burn." She continues during an interview for her cover story on Marie Claire's latest issue, "Speaking very candidly, it was a really traumatic period in my early 20s that kick-started something in me that was a bit more..." She pauses before adding, "feral."

How we *all* feel about #KristenStewart in our August 2015 issue: OBSESSED. (Photo by #TESH)

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"I'm really proud that I am able to move forward and not fall into every mental crater," the former "Camp X-Ray" star says. "That's a new thing for me. Age has made me smarter and calmer. And it is f**king awesome." She goes on, "Lately, I've been doing less of the 'I'm sooooo sorry.' And more of the 'No. F**k. Jesus.' "

Of her "Twilight Saga" days, Stewart says, "Between ages 15 and 20, it was really intense. I was constantly anxious. I was kind of a control freak. If I didn't know how something was going to turn out, I would make myself ill, or just be locked up or inhibited in a way that was really debilitating."

The actress has cut her long hair and embraced her public image more. "My hair was such a crutch. I looked quote unquote 'sexy' no matter what. I could hide behind it. As soon as I didn't have all that hair, I had to let my face hang out. I felt more confident than I had in a really long time. And it felt really good," she explains. "Maybe to most people long hair is prettier. But then what? Is your main goal in life to be desired? That is boring as f**k."

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