Ugly Betty Episode 3.04 Betty Suarez Land

When Wilhelmina hears that Alexis has been given community service, she has the charge bumped up to attempted murder, which means jail or a trial. Claire's past contributions don't sway the D.A: Wilhelmina has an even bigger influence over him -- he's her sex slave! "This is our thing, Alexis," Wilhelmina tells Alexis when she visits her in prison, "You screw me, I screw you back." She offers to make the whole thing go away if Alexis hands over all her shares in Meade Publishing. "I'll do 100 years before I screw my brother over again," Alexis swears. "This time, you can screw yourself."

Betty eagerly greets Gio when he returns from Rome, but he tells her he's had an epiphany; "I hate you. You're not a nice person," and that she's banned from his deli and from his life! To get back in his good graces, she finds a way to hook him up with the "once-in-a-lifetime" cheese he discovered in Rome. She lures him to her apartment -- which he doesn't know is where she now lives -- with a huge deli order. He accepts the cheese but refuses to forgive her, telling her that she lives in "Betty Suarez Land" and that she's clueless that she's broken his heart.

Alexis tells Daniel she's D.J.'s real father, but offers to give up all parental rights. However, that gives D.J.'s grandparents, who know about the paternity test results, legal custody. Daniel asks Betty to hide D.J. and Gio reluctantly agrees to help. D.J. overhears Daniel explaining to Betty that he's not D.J.'s father and he runs away. When they find him, Daniel says he wishes he were D.J's father, but since he's not, it's time for D.J. to go home to France. "Maybe I can be your really cool American uncle," he offers. Betty admits she wasn't thinking about Gio's feelings and he tells her, "You're going to do great things, one day, Suarez. I don't blame you for choosing yourself."

Tony tells his wife, Jill, that he's in love with someone else. But Jill mistakenly thinks that Betty's the other woman and shows up at the beauty salon, begging Hilda to ask her sister to give Tony up. That night, Hilda tearfully tells Tony that she can't be responsible for him leaving his wife. Claire makes a deal with Wilhelmina: If she gets the D.A. to drop the charges, she'll give her fifty percent of Alexis's share in Meade Publishing. "Only fifty percent to go," Wilhelmina gloats to Marc. Daniel and Claire see Alexis off at the airport -- she's leaving for Provence. Quite sweetly, Daniel urges her to get to know D.J. better.