Marry Me Episode 1.13 Change Me

Jake and Annie are hanging out in the kitchen one morning, when Jake opens the fridge to realize it's chock full of moldy takeout containers. He goes to throw them out, but Annie freaks and accuses him of being wasteful.

"A refrigerator is not a time machine," Jake explains. "Time does not stop once you put food in there. That's what a freezer is for. Stopping time."

But it's not like Jake is without flaws - Annie can't stand that he wears tank tops, while Jake's motto is "sun's out, guns out." The debate is cut short when Kay stops by with her own issue: her girlfriend Haley is planning an amazing Valentine's Day surprise for her, and now she has to think up something equally awesome for her. Kay isn't used to being in relationships and is in way over her head.

One thing Kay is used to is chastising Annie's bad habits. When she spots the mountain of disgusting takeout containers, she demands that Annie throw them out, lest her face be inflicted with a "scoopy hole," like her neighbor's uncle who ate an expired English muffin. Annie is terrified of getting a "scoopy hole" and instantly throws the food out. That's when Jake realizes that Annie doesn't listen to his advice, but she will listen to Kay...

That night, the gang heads to the Kevins' annual Presidents' Day costume party, where Jake informs them that he has the perfect Valentine's Day plan for him and Annie. He's taking her to Wait for It, the hippest molecular gastronomy restaurant in Chicago. Kay is super jealous - what is she going to do for Hailey?

In the kitchen, Dennah and Gil decide to make popcorn, but Gil opens the hot bag too fast and steam burns his face. Screaming in agony, he tells Dennah to call 9-1-1. When the first responders come, Dennah hits it off with a sexy fireman, while Gil develops a bro crush on him as well. But before either of them can get his info, he's called off to another emergency.

"There goes the love of my life," bemoans Dennah.

So she and Gil hatch a plan to stage a phony emergency at the Kevins' place so they can call 9-1-1 again in the hopes of reconnecting with their new crush/bro. But as Gil tries to jam Dennah's toe in the faucet of the Kevins' bathtub (apparently this is considered an emergency), he realizes they're not staging a "meet-cute," they're forcing a "meet-sad." Instead of pining for their sexy/funny fireman, the friends decide to have their own "Palentine's Day" celebration. As fate would have it, while chowing down at a hot dog joint, a man at the next table goes into cardiac arrest, and before they know it the hunky fireman is on the scene!

"Chuckles and boobs!" he cries, just as happy to see them as they are to see him.

Meanwhile, Jake begs Kay to help him put an end to Annie's annoying habits like "frogging" popcorn (eating it with her tongue), refusing to ball up her socks or over-pronouncing croissant "cwoissant." In return, he'll help Kay plan the perfect low-key yet romantic Valentine's Day for Hailey. So Kay heads over to rid Annie of her bad habits, and is doing a great job until she suggests Annie pay more attention to Jake's "dangle bags." One step too far - Annie's onto her, and now it's her time to put Kay to good use. While Kate succeeds in curing Jake of over-quoting Howard Stern, catching his burps and wearing tank tops, he eventually puts two and two together and gets in a huge fight with Annie.

To settle the issue, Jake and Annie enlist the help of the Kevins, who advise them on how to critique one's significant other. As Kevin 2 puts it, the key is to package criticism in a "compliment sandwich." Example: "Bread: 'You smell good, like sage.' Meat: 'The way you clip your toenails on the balcony makes me want to stab you in the throat.' Bread: 'You've got nice handwriting. You do.'"

With this vital lesson learned, Jake and Annie end up skipping their trendy Valentine's Day dinner at Wait for It and instead opt to stay home for a low-key celebration. But they were planning this dinner for a year - what changed their minds? Suddenly they realize that while they were using Kay, she was actually using them. She planted the idea in their heads that the other wanted to stay home so she could steal their coveted reservation. And now she and Hailey get to enjoy a ridiculous dinner of filet mignon essence and edible cocktail glasses. Well played, Kay.