Marry Me Episode 1.05 Thank Me

Annie suggests that now that they're "engagely-weds," she and Jake should start hosting things themselves, starting with Annie's fantasy Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving dinner. Jake is reluctant - his mom makes an incredible Thanksgiving every year and he's reluctant to give up her "subwime tuwkey."

After Jake concedes, it's time to break the bad news to Myrna. Obviously irritated, Myrna bites her tongue and instead offers to buy them a dining room table. Annie is furious - she knows that this is a power move by Myrna in the lifelong chess match to determine who is the most important woman in Jake's life. They cannot accept the table from Myrna, explains Annie, as it's permanent and "chock full o' judgment." Despite Jake's protests, Annie is now dead set on pulling off the best Thanksgiving ever just to spite her future mother-in-law

Meanwhile, Gil, Kay and Dennah hit the grocery store to pick up their contributions. In the dairy aisle, Gil befriends the cheese counter guy, who tempts him with samples. Impressed by Gil's sophisticated palette, the cheese guy invites Gil to an after-hours cheese tasting with other like-minded "prodicheeses."

That night, Gil takes Jake to the "Speekcheesie," which he describes as "a bar for illegal cheeses." As the guys sample FDA-prohibited foreign cheeses in the back of a grocery store, Gil relishes finally being good at something.

Back at the apartment, Dennah and Kay agree that Myrna has thrown down the gauntlet and Annie has to go all out. Unfortunately, Myrna is a gourmet cook and Annie uses her oven to store her sweaters. Jake is worried that Annie is acting crazy and if she's so stressed out about hosting, they should call his mom for help...

Fleeing Annie's wrath, Jake heads to Myrna's for some advice, only to find she has cooked an entire backup Thanksgiving dinner, just waiting for Annie to fail. Annie was right - Myrna is trying to undermine her! Jake rushes home to tell Annie she's not crazy, but he's too late - she's huddled in the corner drinking cooking sherry.

Everything's going to be okay. Jake has a plan: if they stay up all night cooking, they maybe, just maybe, can pull this off. Fueled by fear and tequila shots, the pair gets to work. By the next day, things are looking pretty good, except for the fact that guests are arriving in twenty minutes and the food is nowhere near done. Jake decides to speed up the process by turning up all the burners - what could go wrong with that?

Just then, the doorbell rings - the expensive mahogany dining table Annie ordered has arrived! Except... it's a child-size table. Apparently Annie forgot to check the dimensions when she ordered it online. While their guests may not have anywhere to sit, at least they'll have a delicious meal... Never mind, the food is on fire! As Jake races to turn off the burners, Myrna shows up early. This is not going well.

A little while later, Jake, Annie, Gil, Dennah, Kay, Myrna and the Kevins gather awkwardly around the tiny table like the perfect Norman Rockwell picture Annie had hoped for. As luck would have it, the only food that didn't get burned to a crisp was Gil's cheese plate, which Annie delicately sets down on the fragile toy table.

While they all dig into the holiday feast, Gil gives them a little background on the cheese they're eating. It's from a farm-raised, eighteen-year-old human female woman. Apparently, it's "all the rage in Albania!" Everyone gags and drops their plates on the table, which collapses to the floor, sending human cheese flying in every direction.

At this point, Annie is forced to concede that this is the worst Thanksgiving ever and that Myrna has won the holiday. Shockingly, instead of gloating, Myrna admits her first time hosting Thanksgiving was an unmitigated disaster and her mother-in-law also tried to undermine her the whole time - it's tradition! And while she made it out of spite, there is an entire backup turkey dinner sitting in her car for everyone to enjoy. Not having to eat human cheese and crackers - now that's something to be thankful for.