Remember how new housewife Renee said she didn't want to make an enemy of Bree in The Thing That Counts Inside? Well, now we're wondering how she'd make out in a war with Gaby. More on that later.
Susan has taken her saucy little online career to the next level by doing private web chats with men who want to see more than just her housecleaning skills. Fortunately, Susan can't do it. Unfortunately, that means she's fired. When Mike realizes $9,000 bucks is missing from their checking account, Lynette covers by saying she temporarily borrowed the cash. Susan finally tells her friend about her seedy little Internet experience.
Three seems to be a good number for Bree. After her third date with Keith, she ends up having sex with him three times. In one night! Her friends are impressed. Lynette says, "Three times was my entire September." The marathon sex sessions continue to the point where Bree is utterly exhausted. She decides to slow down Keith by adding more chores to his daily workload.
The plan works. Keith is exhausted but still has enough in the tank to have more sex with Bree. The kid's got game! Bree finally admits she can't keep up. Keith admits he thinks sex is the only way he can keep her interested in him. A heart-to-heart chat makes them both see the error of their ways. They celebrate this relationship breakthrough with a good night's sleep.
Renee returns from a trip to New York eight million dollars richer from her divorce settlement. She wants to celebrate, but the only person available is Gaby. Renee admits she slept with her ex-hubby's lawyer to get a healthy settlement. Another secret comes out when Gaby admits she had a nose job when she was 19. But she makes Renee to promise to never tell her friends. Renee says, "Of course you can trust me. I'm beautiful."
Renee's ex-hubby, Doug, shows up trying to woo her back. The guy is pretty darn charming and soon Renee is reconsidering her divorce. Gaby thinks she's insane, but Renee says she should keep her fake nose out of her business. She says this in front of all the other housewives. So much for the notion of beautiful people being able to keep secrets!
Lynette is striking out with nanny interviews. Fear not! Tom comes through with the perfect choice: his mom. Lynette doesn't like the fact that Allison Scavo thinks it's a woman's job to take care of men. Tom knows that Lynette doesn't want Allison there, but says he's calling the shots this time. Mom stays. That could be for the best, as momma Scavo is showing signs of confusion and memory loss.
All of Wisteria Lane shows up at a club to catch a singing performance from neighbor Emma Graham (guest star Dana Glover). Renee is there with her soon-to-be ex-ex-hubby. Gaby takes this opportunity to let Doug know that his wife slept with his attorney. Renee really shouldn't have blabbed about her nose job.
This news sends Doug out the door and Renee into a backroom with Gaby. Soon they're back on the dance floor showing off their moves. Wrestling moves that is. It's a good old-fashioned catfight which ends when Renee punches Gaby in the nose. Good thing she knows a good plastic surgeon.
The two gorgeous ladies of Wisteria wrestling eventually make nice. Renee tells Gaby that Doug called again to say he still wants her back. Renee said no. She realized that Gaby was right all along. Out of all her new friends, Gaby was the only one who had the guts to tell her the truth. Nice.
Mike learns that Paul Young is willing to pay big time to buy his house. Yeah, that's not gonna happen even though they could really use the money. Fortunately, Susan gets a call from Maxine saying a guy is offering big bucks for a private session with her. Much to Susan's horror, she sees that the man on the other side of the chat is Paul Young. Either Susan gives up her house or he tells everyone her dirty little secret.