AceShowbiz - Ellie Goulding feels so "numb" due to her chronic anxiety. In this week's issue of Stellar Magazine, the 35-year-old singer reveals she is overjoyed by the occasions she isn't gripped by panic as she finds solace in music and exercise.
"I get such chronic anxiety that in the rare moments I don't have anxiety, I feel so happy and full of joy that I'm not having it. If I am in an anxious state, I don't feel things. I numb myself to everything," she said.
"But art can bring something positive out of you, especially if you rediscover an artist you love. Running (for fitness) was such a good way to... honestly, I owe it to that to staying sort of relatively sane, I suppose."
Ellie told in January on social media she has been struggling every day to control her anxiety after having her son Arthur Ever Winter in 2021 with husband Caspar, whom she married in August 2019. She said, "This year has also been the hardest of my life. I've struggled daily, nightly, hourly with a kind of panic I didn't even know existed."
"While the moments of being on stage in front of all of you have been some of the most exhilarating and calming, this year I have been struggling. If I was to really think about it, my anxiety has dictated quite a lot of my life and career, and I feel sad about that."
"But it has also made me who I am, and sometimes at my most terrified, when I feel there is no escape from the sheer panic and dread in my heart and brain, I remind myself that I can feel. I know so many of you reading this feel this same pain and at the same time so many of you won't have experienced it, but will most likely know someone who has struggled."