AceShowbiz - Selena Gomez has gotten real about her battle with bipolar disorder. In a new raw interview, the 30-year-old actress/singer confessed that she spent years contemplating suicide amid the darkest time of her life.
The "Only Murders in the Building" star laid bare her mental health struggles in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine as she prepares for the release of her upcoming Apple TV+ documentary, "Selena Gomez: My Mind & Me". She told the publication, "I thought the world would be better if I wasn't there," noting she had never attempted suicide.
Selena also revealed she had been to four treatment centers amid her mental health battle. "I'm going to be very open with everybody about this. I've been to four treatment centers," she shared. "I think when I started hitting my early twenties is when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel like I was not in control of what I was feeling, whether that was really great or really bad."
"It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation," Selena explained. The "Lose You to Love Me" singer added, "Then it just was me not being able to move from my bed. I didn't want anyone to talk to me."
Her friends would bring food, but none of them knew what was truly going on. "Sometimes it was weeks I'd be in bed," Selena continued, "to where even walking downstairs would get me out of breath."
During the interview, Selena recalled when she got emotional upon learning that she may not be able to get pregnant due to bipolar disorder medication. "That [the idea of not being able to carry my own children] is a very big, big present thing in my life," she said.
Selena also shared her struggles to shed her Disney image and live up to the reality she envisioned for herself. When she turned 25, she was upset to be nowhere close to being married.
"It was so stupid, but I really thought my world was over," she said. "I never fit in with a cool group of girls that were celebrities. My only friend in the industry really is [Taylor Swift], so I remember feeling like I didn't belong. I felt the presence of everyone around me living full lives. I had this position, and I was really happy, but… was I? Do these materialistic things make me happy? I just didn't like who I was, because I didn't know who I was."
As for now, Selena is proud of the work she has done to make her mental health a priority, declaring she is ready to share her story in hopes of helping others. "I know it has a big message, but am I the right person to bring it to light?" Selena asked herself. "I don't know. I wanted someone to say, 'Selena, this is too intense.' But everyone was like, 'I'm really moved.' "
Selena shines an even greater light on her mental health in the upcoming Apple TV+ documentary "Selena Gomez: My Mind and Me." The movie begins streaming on Friday, November 4.