AceShowbiz -

Dax Shepard doesn't want any more kids. During a visit to "Jimmy Kimmel Live!", the father of 3-year-old Lincoln and 1-year-old Delta shared the story of a pregnancy scare his wife Kristen Bell had last year that led him to get a vasectomy and later jerk off behind the wheel.

He remembered, "Last year, my wife was working in Atlanta [filming The Boss with Melissa McCarthy]. We were there and she all of a sudden goes, 'Oh, my gosh! I'm so stupid. I've been sick for 10 days and ignoring it; I'm definitely pregnant.' And I was like, 'We're going to turn into Jon & Kate Plus 8 or something.' "

"We already have no life! This is going to be not worth living. I freaked out. It was so bad. That was Tuesday and she had to work, so for eight hours we didn't get a pregnancy test. For eight hours I was like imagining my life with all these kids. That was Tuesday. I flew home Wednesday for a meeting. Thursday morning I had a vasectomy."

When the audience broke into applause, the "Veronica Mars" actor joked, "There's a lot of urologists in the audience." But how did his wife react? "Kristen was not thrilled that I did it so quickly," he said. "But I'm a man of action."

"It's pretty great, because they knock you out for it," he said of the process. "The guy said, 'You want me to check your prostate while you're out?' I said, 'You do everything anal you need to do. Leave no stone unturned. I don't want to hear about any other checkups for a while.' "

But the process didn't stop there. "What you have to do when you get a vasectomy is about three weeks later you have got to take your semen in to make sure that it's worked; they test it to make sure that the semen's actually sterile or not," he explained.

"They don't provide an area there at the urology clinic to service yourself, so you have to bring in a sample," he explained. However, due to his busy schedule, he ended up having only 15 minutes to drive across the town to get to the clinic and procure his sample. "This is the God's truth. I had to drive cross-town, rush hour - thank God there was heavy traffic on Laurel Canyon, so it slowed down enough that I could [multitask]," he revealed.

"I literally masturbated on Laurel Canyon in heavy traffic. It's one thing to loosey-goosey just go for it, but I have a jar and it's heavy traffic. It's very curvy. For those of you have not been on Laurel Canyon, it's one of the twistier roads in America. It's hard enough to get through that road while not making love to yourself, into a container," he went on. "The great news is I'm sterile!"