Did you know there are more than four season in Chatswin? There are actually five: summer, fall, spring, winter and croquet season. The Shays take the game very seriously, but they can't focus on their skills when Dallas is parading a new boyfriend around the course every single game. There's only one man who can fix this and, of course, it's George Altman. He agrees to be Dallas's partner and he turns out to be a croquet God.
Meanwhile, Tessa is super excited to start poetry class with her cool new teacher, Ms. Evans. She's from San Francisco and has an arm tattoo, so she definitely stands out from the other bleach blonde suburban teachers. Tessa makes an effort to impress her new like-minded teacher only to quickly discover that Ms. Evans is as Chatswin as they get. Her idea of an exemplary student is none other than Dalia, the same girl who thought Zambia was an antidepressant. This makes Tessa question her need for acceptance and decides to transfer out of her glass. How good can a teacher really be if she thinks Dalia is the next Sylvia Plath?
In other news, Fred reads Sheila's diary and discovers she's been having R-rated dreams about George. Hurt and jealous, Fred begs George to sleep with his wife. He just wants her to be satisfied the way she deserves to be. George is quick to turn his friend's request down and Fred marches back to his wife, devastated that he's let her down once again. The funny thing is, Sheila never wanted George Altman. She's actually not attracted to him at all. No, she fantasizes about George Stephanopoulos - the Greek anchor on Good Morning America. What a relief! Fred can finally shave the patchy goatee he's been growing to compete with George Altman.
So, here's a little poem to wrap up the day: Roses are red, violets are blue, Chatswin would be boring without the Altman crew. It's okay, Tessa. Turns out we can't give poetry the justice it deserves either.
