In a new interview, the Sonny Corinthos depicter on the ABC soap opera also confesses that he would gaze upon the tree in front of his home and contemplate suicide whenever he hits rock bottom.
- November 5, 2023
AceShowbiz - Maurice Benard said his bipolar disorder got worse during the COVID-19 pandemic until he contemplated suicide. When sharing his story, the "General Hospital" star admitted that he thought about taking his own life "every day" when experiencing the dark period.
In an interview with PEOPLE, the 60-year-old said his parents were living with him and his wife, Paula Smith, at the time. The ABC soap opera was also shuttered, and his tour to promote his memoir, "Nothing General About It: How Love (and Lithium) Saved Me on and Off General Hospital", was canceled.
"I felt a real cold rush in me," the Sonny Corinthos depicter told the publication. "And then that night I was shaking like a fish out of water and crying like a baby. This had never happened in my life. Paula's on the bed and I'm like, 'Baby, I'm done. What's going on with me?' "
"In a calm voice, she says, 'Honey, you're fine. You're gonna be fine.' And I'm like, 'What the f**k what do you mean I'm gonna be fine?' " he recalled. "I was stuck in this horrific panic that wouldn't leave."
Maurice then launched his own mental health podcast, "State of Mind". Unfortunately, it was not enough to make him get rid of the strange feeling. When hitting rock bottom, he confessed that he would gaze upon the tree in front of his home and contemplate suicide.
"I was just figuring it out because I didn't want to use a gun because it's messy and ugly. That's what I thought about every day - the tree," Maurice, who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 1985 at the age of 22, explained. "And I just did everything that I possibly could to survive."
