AceShowbiz - Kim Kardashian has no "energy" to be the "clean-up crew" when her ex-husband Kanye West has a manic episode. The Skims founder, 42, cried on Thursday's June 1 episode of "The Kardashians" as she admitted to being "overwhelmed" by the hate the 45-year-old rapper hurled towards her family and loved ones.
"I'm stuck with this for the rest of my life, and I'm just so overwhelmed," Kim said as she was breaking down while speaking to momager Kris Jenner.
Kim - who has North, 10, Saint, seven, Chicago, five, and four-year-old Psalm with Kanye - then admitted that it's impacting their kids' lives. Kris admitted, "That's the tragic part of the whole story."
Kim does everything she can to protect their brood and even unplugs them from the internet so they don't see anything about their dad online whenever he's going off on one. In a confessional, she said, "I still feel the need to not talk about it and protect it from my kids and I always will feel that way, but God, if people knew ..."
"I just would never do that to my kids. It just is really crazy," she admitted. "It's the hardest feeling to watch someone you really loved and you have a family with just be so different than who you knew."
The mother-of-four is done being Kanye's crisis team and admits she feels he needs to "hit rock bottom" and "figure" his own way out. She explained, "Sometimes I feel like if he were to hit rock bottom, that's his journey that he needs to figure out on his own."
"I used to run around and call everyone behind his back, and be like, 'It's gonna be OK, it's gonna be OK, don't worry. Just give him another chance.' I used to spend hours and hours and hours of my day to be the clean-up crew. I just don't have that energy."
Kris told Kim, "Well, that's why you got divorced because you can't do that to yourself. You never deserve to live like that."
Even their eldest daughter has no idea what went down when Kanye was verbally attacking her then-boyfriend Pete Davidson and lashing out over their divorce.
Kim continued, "She actually doesn't know and that's what's so crazy. When stuff is said, it's a chain to my whole household. No TV, only Apple TV. I can't risk an Access Hollywood … or anything on the news coming up with their dad mentioned and they want to watch. I have to figure out a way to protect and so they still haven't seen anything, but then I go into crisis mode."
In another confessional, Kim added, "I'm the one being accused of so many things and being blamed for so many things and it's really hurtful and it sucks. But, I can control how I react and I can control if I'm a mess, [and] then my kids will see that … I really do believe in my soul that one day, my kids will appreciate my silence, my understanding and my grace, and I will try my hardest to keep it together at all times."
On last week's episode, Kim admitted she had anxiety attacks over Kanye "spreading lies" about her.