AceShowbiz - Shia LaBeouf opened up on his journey to sobriety and his struggle with fame. In an interview on The Hollywood Reporter's podcast, the former Disney actor revealed that he developed post-traumatic stress disorder following his stardom as a child actor.
The young LaBeouf was also overwhelmed with the pressure of providing for his family. Witnessing how his parents often fought due to financial issues, the "Evan Stevens" alum believed that if they "had money, there'd be no fighting."
"In a very simple way, to me, having money meant having a family," the 33-year-old actor, who was also hit with plagiarism accusations in the past, explained the reason behind his hustle. "The more money I had, the more I could have my family around. That's just how I equated it."
"It kind of fueled my way of working for a long time - just pining your own pain, and holding on to it, and not really ever dealing with it or questioning it, but just keeping it in a little bottle that you can pop the top on whenever it's needed, when the switch needs to be flipped."
He was diagnosed with PTSD during his rehab following a drunk altercation with a black police in 2017. "It was the first time I'd been told I had PSTD," he said. "I just thought I was an alcoholic, like, a true-blue drunk and I needed to deal with that. I knew it was an issue but didn't know there was this extra whole other thing that was hindering my ability to have any peace in my life and my ability to deal with people."
Before checking into rehab, he was allowed to finish "The Peanut Butter Falcon" but returning to the set made him realize he hit the rock bottom. "I'm feeling like people on set think I'm a racist, no, believe I'm a racist and I'm feeling all of that and don't want to be alive. And I'm on this set, can't look anybody in the eyes," he remembered.
"The only person I feel like is giving me any kind of connection non judgmentally is coming from Zack," LaBeouf referred to his co-star Zack Gottsagen, who has Downs syndrome. "He basically looked me in the eye and said don't - I'm going to paraphrase - but don't f**k this up for me, this is my only chance."
"I had made promises to him and talked to his parents and if you can empathize with that position where you're looking at somebody you deeply love and had made promises to and know that he's done everything right and that you have a disease that is going to f--k up everything and that so much is riding on this. I felt all of that."