AceShowbiz - Supermodel Gisele Bundchen struggled after she became a mom, revealing she she felt like a part of her had "died."
The Brazilian beauty and her husband Tom Brady welcomed their son and daughter in 2009 and 2012, respectively, and while Gisele insists she always wanted to be a mom, she had a hard time adjusting to the challenges of parenthood.
"When I became a mom, I kind of lost myself. It was like a part of me died," she tells PEOPLE magazine in a candid new interview to promote her upcoming memoir "Lessons: My Path to a Meaningful Life".
"I'd been this very independent person. It was all about me. But now I had this little being, and I suddenly felt l couldn't do other things, and that was very hard for me. All I ever wanted was to be a mom, but when you're actually experiencing that, it's a shock."
The 38-year-old also felt terribly guilty when she had to leave son Benjamin for work.
"I had all this horrible, self-imposed guilt," she says. "I thought, 'What a terrible mother I was for leaving my child even for, like, a day. I was feeling guilty for (taking them along) too. Like, 'Here we are on a plane and the baby is crying.' "
Bundchen has opened up about all aspects of her life in the new memoir, revealing she once grappled with suicidal thoughts that were brought on by her secret battle with anxiety.
"I actually had the feeling of, 'If I just jump off my balcony, this is going to end, and I never have to worry about this feeling of my world closing in (again),' " she tells People.
Gisele also opens up about her breast enhancement regrets following the birth of her daughter Vivian.
The model admits she went under the knife to even out her boobs after breastfeeding left one looking bigger than the other. She felt as if she had messed up her body and fell into a self-confidence funk after the procedure.