Dean McDermott Quits 'True Tori', Reveals Suicidal Thoughts After Cheating on His Wife

McDermott has had enough of the camera following him around, saying he falls into a dark place where he wanted to kill himself during his rocky marriage with Tory Spelling.

AceShowbiz - Dean McDermott is leaving "True Tori", a reality show with his wife Tori Spelling. "I'm not going to continue with the show," he opens up to Access Hollywood. "We have five more shows left, I'm going to fulfill my commitment."

"It got around the vasectomy conversation where I got to the point where ... I can't do this anymore. I can't keep opening a vein, and opening my soul and sharing my feelings and thoughts and demons with the world. I want my privacy back."

McDermott and Spelling started filming the show shortly after the revelation of his one-night stand with a woman named Emily Goodhand. It rocked their marriage and led him to depression and substance abuse. He even contemplated to take his own life at one point.

"I was driving around in my truck with a loaded 9 mm. I was put on a 5150 at the UCLA psych ward," he reveals. "[My son] Liam had a performance and I didn't want to miss that performance ... I had plans that night to do it."

"The fact that I cheated on my wife, I wish never happened," he says. "I wish my alcohol and drug use hadn't gotten out of control. I still love her to death and that's why we're still together."

The show has set back the couple's reconciliation progress, but he still believes their marriage will survive. "I hold out a lot of hope," he says. "I love this woman, regardless of what I've done. I love her and want to be with her."

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