Dancing with the Stars Episode 8.18

Here we go, y'all! Who's going to make it? Is it finally Ty's time to go? I'm not even going to predict his departure because I won't believe it until it happens. However, I do think it's his time, and I'm missing him already. Shawn gets her first encore for her Argentine tango... which is unexpected. Was Gilles too obvious a choice? Could they not decide between his two perfect numbers (no pun intended)? Or is he trying not to re-injure his shoulder? Hmm... Shawn does another taut routine, but boos that the judges didn't like their jive on the recap. Gilles, meanwhile, has achieved his dream from Day 1, which is to get six 10s. So you don't want that Mirrorball?

Because you know we won't get any results for, oh, probably 50 minutes, we fill up some time with an analysis piece from three former champs, Brooke Burke, Helio Castroneves and Drew Lachey (Drew, come back as co-host!). Brooke wants Melissa to be dirty. Was anyone else bracing for her to follow up with "dancing"? Drew thinks Gilles needs a bigger female fan base (you mean like 98 Degrees?) and thinks Ty can hold onto the ball since he can hold onto the bull. And Shawn? Well she needs to relax, they say. Brooke closes by reminding us it's not all about the dancing, but who the people relate to the most. No truer words were ever spoken.

Pick a Pro

Pros pick pros! Ha. The remaining two are paired with Kym and Maksim to choreograph two dances - Latin and ballroom.

Mayo Alanen & Kym Johnson: Tango

Kym is wearing a longer version of that sheer, one-piece bodysuit that Karina wore earlier this season. It's hard to say which one of them was more covered-up - Kym or Karina, that is. Anyhow, the tango's nice, very traditional, but frankly, I'm kind of bored by it. It reminds me of a Melissa dance: It's technically great, but I'm not going to remember anything special about it in five minutes. Len likes it. Bruno loves Mayo's long legs. Carrie Ann is impressed with the choreography, but wants some personality in his next dance. Does she know they already prepared it?

Anna Demidova & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Quickstep

Maks thinks she's more difficult to teach than a celebrity. I think we all know that. Anna puts him in the corner. Nobody puts Maksy-poo in the corner. Except Karina. (Did I really just make two Dirty Dancing references in one recap? How cliche. I apologize.) Um, wow. I think I missed the first 10 seconds because I blinked. This thing is fast, as it should be, so it looks awesome. It's dynamic and animated, and they make great use of the whole floor. Plus, Maks looks like he's having more fun here than he ever did with Denise. Bruno calls it magnificient. Carrie Ann thinks she outshined Maks. Len loves her maturity and thinks she brought the best out of Maks.

Mayo Alanen & Kym Johnson: Cha-cha

There's a little more personality here, but I think it pales in comparison to Anna's quickstep. It's a perfectly fine number, but again, there's nothing eye-popping about it. Except for maybe Kym's skimpy fringe outfit. Maybe Mayo's feeling the pressure. Carrie Ann is concerned about his versatility because he didn't wear Mark's gym shorts. Yes, you do have to be well-versed in cheese-tastic outfits to be on Dancing. Get with it, Mayo! Len likes the pace and gives him a job well done. Bruno wants him to be careful about the risks as they went with a disco theme with the cha-cha. Hey, Mayo? There's the bus. Get under it.

Anna Demidova & Maksim Chmerkovskiy: Samba

It's kind of heartbreaking to see the differences between Anna and Mayo. This chick is, like, the Gilles of the pro competition. The samba is grossly electrifying and the choreography, once again, makes good use of the floor. Also, I don't think I've ever seen Maks shake his ass like that. Len declares her the pro. Bruno says she did a fantastic job with all of her partners. Carrie Ann wants to see more of her.

So we don't have a Hough-less semifinal after all (sort of). Derek, Julianne are back, along with Lacey and Mark, for the Design a Dance, uh, dance. This time, with trumpets! This is... a hot mess. Were the tables at the end necessary? No more props, people! Oh hey, we're at the 50-minute mark, which means results. Finally. Did ya forget? It's a results show.

First two safe couples:

Gilles & Cheryl

Shawn & Mark

That leaves Ty and Chelsie, and Melissa and Tony, who are not necessarily the bottom two. So who's going to be "illiminated," as Sam says? Alas, it is the cowboy.

OK, I'm not going to be sad about this, but happy and hopeful - happy he made it so far and improved so much, and hopeful that he will - one day, someday - join the hosting panel and be totally awesome and witty alongside Tom. How do we make this happen?

Speaking of, Tom interrupts their goodbyes to say that Dancing is not about the steps, but the total package, which is what Ty is. Man crush! Loves it! (I refuse to say "bromance.") He then asks him to do the "weird shaking thing" for Jewel.