Dancing with the Stars Episode 8.13

Season 8 may be halfway done, but a whole new contest is just beginning. Dancing with the Stars introduces a new pro dancer competition in preparation for next season just as another dancer's run comes to a close. Who got axed? Who are the potential new pros? Find out below.

Hey now, Lil Kim gets three encores in a row - sort of. The groovy group dance gets the encore spot... and LT looks even less enthused the second time around. C'mon, dude, this is your penultimate dance. Mean, yes. But who's not with me on this? I'm still picking up my jaw off the floor from Monday after finding out Shawn learned this thing by herself. I barely mastered the Macarena steps myself (this is back in 1996, FYI). In the recap, LT shares that he's happy with the 21... and of course you'd never know it. Ty's little engine that could is going back uphill. Julianne tells her brother she's allowed to shake her butt more. And sounds like she's 5 while doing it.

If you thought we couldn't beat last week's body-language expose, well, you were wrong. Here comes expert opinion on the toll Dancing's taking on everyone's body. Obviously, we're too dense to infer anything from the plehtora of injuries. Sanjay Gupta turned down the post of Surgeon General to become a Dancing consultant. Who wouldn't? He says everyone's increasing blood flow and engaging core muscles. Christine Avanti calculates the calories everyone's burned and doesn't want LT to eat 33 hamburgers. But it's OK if I do? Dr. Glenn Pfeffer says when contestants throw caution to the wind, they get injured, ergo they need to push to the breaking limit but not beyond it. I don't think you need an M.D. to determine this.

Newlywed Natasha Bedingfield is in the house. Her look is very Christina Aguilera circa 2006. Or maybe it's just the hair. It's nice to see Dmitry and Lacey back, since I think Lacey and Steve-O should still be here (this week, at least) and Dmitry is a pretty kick-a choreographer. I don't know about you, but I feel more sad for the pros than the celebrities when pairs are eliminated. Macy's Stars of Dance follows with Burn the Floor, and that they do... but that could partially be becaue of the devilish red and black they're wearing.

Speaking of red, Mr. and Mrs. Silk Red Pajamas (aka Chuck and Julianne) are psyched to have tied Gilles. I'd be too since they in no way tied in my mind. They attribute their good fortune to the glaring outfits. What does this mean? They're going to bring the bedroom to the ballroom every week now? And make me fall asleep while they're doing it? (Not like that.) Next week are the team dances and Ty wants Chelsie on his team. Adorable! (I've never seen team dances before so you'll need to prepare me for this.)

First three couples safe:

Chuck & Julianne

Melissa & Tony

Shawn & Mark

Pick a Pro

It's time for a new competiton within the competition. No more reducing little kids to tears, but rather adults! Pros are going to dance for a guaranteed spot on next season, voted on by the people. How much would it suck if they get eliminated first? If we get to vote the pro on, we should also get to vote for his or her partner. Who's with me? Anyhow, this week, they're dancing in pairs - but for themselves. Get it?

Afton DelGrosso & Brent Borbon

Afton's sis is Ashly DelGrosso, so she has nepotism on her side (I've never seen Ashly dance, so I have no idea how good she is, but I know she comes from a dancing dynasty.) But can't you see it now? Ashly and Afton could be on next season? Sisterly rivalry? Especially since Julianne most likely won't be returning. She's doing the cha-cha with Brent. It's a tight, crisp little number. Time is money, so the whole thing was very brief. She definitely looks more made for the floor than he does. I guess it does run in the family.

Anna Demidova & Mayo Alanen

Any tennis buffs around? I can't be the only one. Anna kind of looks like fellow Russian Vera Zvonareva (no, not Maria or Anna). She's doing the waltz with Mayo. I enjoyed this a lot more than the cha-cha. It's so delicately genteel and they look like they're floating on cloud nine. Anna apparently raided Tiffany's... or maybe a kiosk at the mall. Ease up on the jewels, girl.

Snow Urbin & Genya Mazo

More nepotism! Genya is Alec Mazo's little bro. So now there's a chance of a brotherly rivalry? Too many possibilities! Snow looks like Kym and Genya looks like Johnny Depp... and has incredible hair. I want to touch it. Seriously. They're doing the rumba and it's absolutely lovely and romantic. They have a little mishap in the middle, but recover nicely. I'd rank it second behind the waltz.

Next up is more filler, this time from a Celtic Woman doing a stirring rendition of "You Raise Me Up." Then again, can any performance of it not be stirring? And finally... with two minutes left...

Lil Kim & Derek... are safe!

Gilles & Cheryl... are safe!

That, of course, leaves Ty (naturally, they're once again leaving him hanging until the last minute) and Chelsie up against LT and Edyta. No suspense needed. We all know who it's going to be: Lawrence and Edyta. Y'all just put him out of his misery. Finally! Thank you, America, indeed. I know I've been hard on LT, but he made himself an easy target. Whether it was the aggressive competitor in him or not, you knew he wasn't enjoying this as much as some of the other people there, to say the least. As Tom says, "you're the worse actor we've ever had on this show." And we know Tom never lies. Back to the golf course!