Dancing with the Stars' Top 8 morphs into the lucky 7 in a revamped results show. What changed? And who got the boot? Find out below.
It's official: Lil Kim's the Queen Bee of this thing. Two encores in a row - except this choice wasn't announced by the judges. Could Len not be swayed? Anyhow, the ladies at the Federal Detention Center must be proud. I don't think I would've picked differently. The only other performance I liked was Shawn's, but definitely not more than Kim's.
Monday night recap time! Ty's spirit is not broken. I need someone that positive in my life. Are cowboys always so happy-go-lucky? Wait, I just thought of Brokeback Mountain. Steve-O doesn't understand Len. It's OK. We don't either. He got a 5 when he forgot his steps, yet gets a 4 for a whole routine and a 7, too. LT is lovin' his 8. Chuck is turned on (TMI) and will take either Carrie Ann or Bruno. Don't forget the pizza.
No results just yet. Instead we get "America" from West Side Story, featuring the Broadway cast. Shucks. I wanted Rita Moreno. Did you know the film version lost only one of its 11 Oscar nominations? It lost screenplay to Judgment at Nuremberg. (I love the Oscars.) Anyhow, back to the - say whaa??! No dance-off?! Like, for good? What the hell is going on? Quit playing games with my heart. I hate when shows talk something up a storm - or rather force everyone to incessantly harangue about something. In this case, the oh-my-god stressfulness of the dance-off - only to randomly do away with it with no explanation.
The lack of a dance-off means a new format. Two couples at a time are called down from the stairs to learn their fate... I think.
Lil Kim & Derek... are safe!
Lawrence & Edyta... are also safe! See what turning a frown upside down can do, LT?
Rascal Flatts are here. I'm sorry, they don't do anything for me. Maybe it's Gary LeVox's nasal crooning or the fact that their songs all sound the same, except for, you know, that "Life Is a Highway" cover. Julianne takes a break from being Chuck's girl to being Tony's. And she's actually clothed... but is that the same dress from her waltz? I know they like to reuse and recycle, but c'mon.
Costume segment. Apparently it's Dancing on Project Runway now. Without the Weinsteins. The pros usually design the costumes and now it's time to switch it up for next week. You crazy kids! Steve-O wants lots of cheetah prints. Ty thinks his denim choice is Ty-rific. Derek doesn't want Kim's pasties. Um, who does? Chuck wants less clothing (I guess he's still turned on?). LT wants more clothing for him and Edyta, even though he knows Edyta is allergic to clothing. Is that a sense of humor I hear?
Shawn & Mark... are safe!
Melissa & Tony... are also safe!
The Macy's Stars of Dance cabaret performance comes courtesy of the Pussycat Dolls choreographer, Lindsley Allen, and features Carmen Electra, bringing us some "Stuff Like That There." If you know what I mean. Len's completely not amused... until Carmen puts her stuff like that there in his face. Men - so easy to please. So I guess I'm getting punished. Rascal Flatts again? And he butchers the first line of "Revolution." I'm over this.
More time-wasting: body-language expose from Dr. Lillian Glass, who majored in "stating the obvious" with a concentration in "sounding like a tool." People are nervous? Tense? Unsure? I'm rolling my eyes now. That means you need to shut the hell up.
Next safe couple:
Gilles & Cheryl
Ever notice how they always keep Ty waiting until the last possible minute before declaring him safe? This was true even during his good couple of weeks. I wouldn't be surprised if they do it again... but they don't.
Chuck & Julianne... are safe!
Tom notes that the last two couples standing are not necessarily the bottom two, which, in my mind, just seals Steve-O's fate. Ty's pretty popular with America, I believe, and we know America trumps Jackass. After some final words from the judges, it is in fact Steve-O the man-struate-r & Lacey who are bouncing. That means no cheetah print! And a broken heart for Gilles. Can he carry on without this bromance? "What Hurts the Most" indeed.